Tag: reality

Why Finding Out Your ‘Person’ Doesn’t Feel The Same Feels Like Absolute Sh*t

There comes a time in everyone’s life when they fall in love with someone they feel like they can spend the rest of their lives with. While we go from relationship to relationship in life, experiencing the blissful beauty of falling in love, there comes a particular moment in your life when you fall in love with someone you truly consider to be “the one.”

You start to build a life with this person, planning things, including them in your everyday life and decisions, building a future with them, fantasizing about your life together—it all seems like everything is amazing, perfect, wonderful.

But, there are often times in life that the person you want to be “the one,” doesn’t exactly feel the same way about you. Now, this is not to say that they aren’t in love with you, or, that they don’t want to be with you. But, there are often times when you’re sure about someone, but, they’re not sure about you.

And, when you realize this, it feels like you got hit in the chest by an 18-wheeler.

Heartache.

What do you really do when you fall in love with someone and want them to be your “happily ever after,” but, they aren’t even sure of what they want in life? What if they decide they never want to get married, have children, start a family—what do you really do?

The decisions that you have to make as you get older and fall in love are terrifying. Sometimes, you have to make sacrifices and compromise, but, you should never sacrifice your happiness just to be with someone and live in their own comfort zone.

You may love this person – you may love them with every single inch of your being, but, if they cannot give you exactly what you need, you can start over, you can find someone else. Or, you can take a break from dating and reassess your needs and desires.

If you’re someone who needs a definitive timeline and answers, but your “person” can’t give you them, take a step back and think things through. Maybe, this person just cannot give you what you need and, if that’s the case, you need to face those facts. Maybe, after hearing this person doesn’t want those milestones, you decide maybe you don’t either and, you’d rather be with this person than be “married.” Maybe, you’re okay with waiting to see how things unfold. But, maybe, you don’t want to push aside your own needs to please someone else.

Whatever happens—whatever you do decide—remember that the most important person to listen to is yourself. Face the hard truths, the painful realities, and the heartbreaking decisions if you have to – because, staying with someone who cannot fulfill you will always leave you empty.

The Heartbreaking Reality Of Loving Someone You Have No Future With

Falling in love is one of the most brutally awakening experiences one can endure. When you meet someone you click with, it often seems like nothing else matters to you—it’s you and them against the entire world and you couldn’t give a f*ck what anyone else thinks.

The beginning of every “epic love” you experience in your life (because trust me, there will be more than one) is always absolute bliss. You’re constantly learning new things about each other, you’re sharing first-time experiences with them and you are hopelessly in love with all the little moments you spend together.

That’s why they call the beginning of every relationship the “Honeymoon Stage.” You are on a vacation from reality – you are living on an island in your mind, where no true sense of truth can make its way in. You’re lounging in the sunshine of their embraces, you’re watching the stars in their eyes—it’s like a permanent break from worry and chaos.

But, every honeymoon eventually comes to an end and sometimes, reality finds its way into your mind. It does happen in life that we fall in love with people we have no future with and we’re left to face the question of what the f*ck do we do next?

Do you stay with someone you’re madly in love with, even though you can’t see them being the end-all be-all of your life? Or, do you prematurely leave, because you don’t want to waste your time on someone who cannot provide a solid foundation for a future with you?

You start to worry about every little thing—overthinking situations that may not happen for years to come—but, they matter in the long-run. How can you truly know what the right move is? How do you know what you should do in this kind of situation?

The truth is there is no right answer. There is no universal truth to dealing with this kind of complex situation. You can love someone with every inch of your soul, every inch of your being, and they can still not be the right person for you, for the rest of your life.

It’s up to you to decide.

Are you willing to stay with someone you love, because you love them, and risk the chance of it ending in heartbreak—having to start all over again with someone new?

On average, people spend over a year or two together before realizing that they are with the “wrong person,” or, that the person they are with has no place in their future. They start to see bigger flaws, issues that will hinder their growth and the relationships’ growth—or realize, they cannot marry this person or start a family with them.

Here’s the honest truth:

Just because you love someone with every inch of your being, doesn’t mean it will work out perfectly in the end. Most relationships aren’t perfect—actually, no relationship is perfect. Every couple has their own issues, quirks, problems they need to fix and work out. That doesn’t stop them from being together, though.

If the red flags are too blinding—don’t stay with someone because it’s easier than ending things. Don’t stay with someone just because you are both already comfortable with each other and you don’t feel like walking away and having to restart it all over again with someone else.

Stay with someone because your love is strong enough to overcome struggles, obstacles, battles and change. Stay with someone you are willing to compromise for and who is willing to do the same.

In the end, the changes that happen over time may surprise you – and, besides, who ever said love was easy?

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