10 Terrible Excuses You Make for Stupid Boys that Your Best Friend Won’t Let You Say

Some of us have a bad habit of falling for the wrong guys. For whatever reason, they’re not good for us, yet we still try to justify their bad behavior with excuses. Thankfully, we’ve all got that best friend who saw it coming, and won’t let us stay hung up over that stupid boy just because he was “soooo nice when I met him.”

1. “But he’s just so hot.”

Okay, so? He’s not the only hot guy on the planet. If he’s a shitty person, there’s no amount of hotness that can redeem his bad personality. You will find plenty of hotter guys, who are nicer and smarter and richer. This guy won’t even be a memory.

2. “But I still really like him! Forgive and forget, right?”

No. He isn’t worth your forgiveness. If a guy ever cheats on you, or is just a common fuckboy, your best friend will smack you upside the head before she ever let’s you consider forgiving him. Your bestie sticks around while you’re going through this nonsense to knock some sense into you through your fuckboy delirium.

3. “He’s just going through a phase.”

Again, no he’s not. He’s just revealing his true colors at this point. Yeah, he might have pretended to be the nice guy that you met, but he couldn’t hold up that act forever. Snap out of it girl!

4. “He only acts like that because he knows I can handle it.”

Okay, that’s just plain demeaning. Your best friend reminds you that no guy will ever be good enough for you, and that you never deserve to be treated like a doormat. You can’t let yourself be treated badly, either.

5. “I can help him change!”

Nope, not gonna happen. That’s not your job, you’re not his mother. After she rolls her eyes, your best friend tells you that you shouldn’t be dating someone that you have to help raise. That’s his parents’ job, not yours. And if he needs help trying to “change” his ways, run.

6. “I am happy. Promise.”

If you have to say that you’re happy, something is obviously wrong. Trying to convince your best friend that you’re happy is never gonna fly. She can see through your lies like nobody’s business. You can’t fool her, much less yourself. So she reminds you that you can’t stay with a guy who truly can’t make you happy, no matter how much of a nice guy he his. You can’t force compatibility.

7. “There’s just no one else who I’m really interested in. I might as well stay with him.”

Cue the laughter. Your bestie will let you know that sometimes it’s better to be single and happy than taken and miserable. If you’re staying in a relationship just for the sake of having one, that’s a sure sign that you need to end it. You need to love yourself for a while, and find happiness being single.

8. “We’ve been together for so long. Why break up at this point?”

Because your relationship isn’t going anywhere. As your live-in couples’ counselor, your best friend advises that you’re not in a relationship if you’re not growing and progressing together. When a relationship goes stale and starts to stagnate, you need to end it. The sooner the better. She’ll be there to catch your tears.

9. “I’ll never find anyone like him.”

LOL no, you won’t. You’ll find someone even better. Just because you got used to him, doesn’t mean that he’s the only guy out there for you. Your best friend tells you that you need to get out more and meet new people. If you can fall for a guy once, you can fall for many more.

10. “I’m going to be alone forever and end up with 50 cats.”

Well, if that does happen, your best friend will be right there with you, and you guys can die alone, together. Because boys are stupid anyway.

 

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10 Life-Changing Lessons You Learn After a Toxic Relationship

Although everyone’s experience is different, there is no doubt that getting your heart broken leaves you vulnerable and alone. This heartbreak is what forced me to discover myself again. I’m still picking up the pieces of myself, but it gets easier with time. In my own struggles, I’ve learned a thing or two about toxic relationships and love.

1. People never change, regardless of what they promise.

I’ve been cheated on, lied to, and manipulated by the same guy one too many times. Right before I left for college, my ex had gotten me a ring which served as his promise to me that we would have a clean slate.

He promised me that he was done talking to other girls and he would never cheat on me again. I believed him. However, I found out that he was telling other girls that we were broken up before we actually were. Long distance was hard enough without learning that.

2. Not everyone deserves a second chance.

The first time I gave my ex a second chance was when he lied to me about who he had gotten a house with his second year at college; it was with all girls. I should have left after I found this out because it was the beginning of a completely toxic relationship.

After I gave him his first-second chance, we were together for another year and a half. That time consisted of too many more second chances. I now know that one-second chance is enough. It might even be one chance too many.

3. Breakups are never 100% one person’s fault.

With everything that I have said, it is still not 100% his fault we broke up. I made mistakes too and I’ll admit to that.

I kept my guy friends that I knew made him uncomfortable, I didn’t communicate with him as much as I should’ve when I went off to college, I didn’t tell him that I loved him enough, I wasn’t always there when he needed me. I made mistakes too.

4. Appreciate the nights you stay in.

I often took for granted the nights that we would stay in, but now that was broken up, it’s those nights that I miss the most. I miss the nights where we would stay in, just the two of us talking late into the night.

I have learned that it is in those simple nights where you truly connect with one another. It’s that connection I found with him that I am scared I will never find again. It is this connection that kept me in the relationship for so long.

5. Texts can be misinterpreted.

There were times where I believed my ex when he said “I’m okay” when I shouldn’t have. Towards the end of our relationship, my ex said things like “It’s okay if we talk tomorrow,” when it never was.

I should have never listened to him because who knows what would have happened if I called him instead of texting him. Texts can be misinterpreted and therefore I hate texting.

6. Communication is key.

You may know that you love your partner and you may believe that everything is okay, but your partner needs to hear that too. I wish I’d done this more with my ex because now, I’m afraid that he doesn’t know how much I truly looked up to him.

My ex really did inspire me but I never told him that. Don’t keep your thoughts to yourself, communicate with your partner because you will regret not doing so later.

7. Trust your partner.

I trusted my ex until he gave me a reason not to, but I don’t think he knew that. I think the reason why he lied to me the first time was that he believed that I didn’t trust him. Trust your partner and make sure that they are aware that you trust them.

Trust is so important in a relationship. I learned this the hard way. A lack in trust will slowly break a couple apart from the inside out and I promise you that it will be painful.

8. Respect yourself.

I wish I’d had enough respect for myself a year ago to walk away from my toxic relationship. We settle for the love we think we deserve and now I know that I deserve so much more than what my ex gave me.

With this being said, the beginning of our relationship was good but neither of us deserved what we put each other through in the end. Know when to walk away.

9. Don’t put your dreams on hold.

I let my ex hold me back. It is because of him that I did not apply to a school on the east coast and it is because of him that I am just now joining the army. Don’t let your partner hold you back. Live your life for you and no one else.

10. Letting go is just as important as loving

Letting go is hard, but it’s also making me stronger. I can’t dwell on the past if I want to focus on the present and work towards the future. I am letting go of the love that I thought was right for me, and who knows maybe someday that love will be right, but for now, I am letting go.

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7 Reasons Why I’ll Always, Unapologetically, Choose My Career Over A Man

Career

I’ve always been a hard worker throughout my entire life. Ever since I was a freshman in high school, I’ve had at least one job. Fast forward to college, I was interning in New York City three days a week, attending college full-time and waitressing at two restaurants to pay tuition and ensure I could graduate with a degree in the fields I was most passionate about. Long story short – I’ve always been a go-getter, someone who puts her work first and never, ever takes a handout. I started out interning at small, start-up companies in journalism and, worked my way up through several companies to be in a position I used to only dream about.

 

At the end of the day, my work and my passions will always come first. It’s one of the things I value most about myself – my work ethic. While it’s been the reason I’ve always succeeded in life, it’s also the reason I’ve had trouble in relationships. Throughout my life, every guy I’ve ever dated has had a “problem” with the amount of work I do. I never work one job, I’m always working over 40 hours a week and I usually make more money than my partner. Whatever the reason is, men have always given me sh*t for the way in which I choose to spend my time and conduct my life.

 

You Should Never Ask Outside People For Relationship Advice

When it comes to relationships, people always think they know best. Whenever you’re having problems with your significant other, people think they know what is better for your relationship than you do for yourself – they all think they’re Dr. Phil and have a Ph.D. in romance.

The truth is, everyone experiences love differently. Love is an emotion, it’s not something as cut and dry as having a common cold. Someone can experience love and it makes them feel something – and, another person can feel completely different when they’re in love. It’s not a universal feeling, it’s not something everyone experiences the same – therefore, it’s not something everyone can give you the answers about.

He’s Never Going To Be The Man You Want Him To Be

The Man You Want

You love him, you love him with all of your heart. You think that he is “the one,” the person that you can spend the rest of your life with. But, there’s something inside of you that is holding you back—that is making you second guess where you are and where you’re going.

 

It’s that little trickle of doubt that keeps you up at night when he doesn’t come home on time when he isn’t answering your calls, when he takes too long to answer your texts.

 

When we love people, we always try to see the best in them—think of it as wearing rose-colored glasses. We see everything in bright shades of pinks and reds—looking at everything as though it’s sunshine and rainbows.

We don’t want to be bothered with the harrowing realities of seeing the truth in people, their true colors and who they are. And we try to end fights as soon as they begin—we’d rather go back to happier times when we’re laughing than those sad times of misery.

 

How Practicing Self Care Can Actually Improve Your Relationship

Self-care can improve your relationships. Really, it’s true. We’ve all been there at some point in our lives. You know… the feeling of being completely tapped out to the point where you have nothing left to give to anyone else, much less yourself.

Maybe you’ve worked too many late shifts or had too many dates that didn’t end well. Maybe you’re just under too much pressure from all sides. 

That sense of total depletion (some call it burnout) takes a major toll on the way you feel about yourself, and it affects your relationships with those around you, especially your partner.

The only way to avoid becoming burned out is to learn how to practice self-care. It really is essential to your personal well-being and your relationships.

Taking care of yourself means that intentionally take steps to improve your mental, emotional, and physical health… your overall wellbeing. You’re making an investment in yourself. 

While self-care can mean something different to everyone, it simply comes down to taking care of you.

How Self-Care Can Actually Improve Your Relationship

One of the first things you need to acknowledge is that taking care of yourself does not mean that you are being selfish. According to Vanessa Scotto from the Yinova Center, “The moment we all decide that self-love is healthy and optimal for everyone is the moment we breed a more uplifted and whole society.” 

There is so much truth in that statement, and it applies to your relationships with everyone around you, including your partner. Self-care takes constant effort and should be taken seriously.

By investing in yourself, you are cultivating positive behaviors that will extend into other parts of your life and your relationship. Taking care of yourself means that you are more understanding, more patient, and more rested.

And all of those things make you more available to your partner. Finding a good balance between loving yourself and loving your partner strengthens and unifies your relationship in a way nothing else can.

Self-Care Also Teaches You Things About Yourself 

The journey into self-care can teach you many lessons. One of the most important ones is that you are worthy of being loved. First and foremost, by yourself, but also by your partner.

Once you learn this truth, you will begin to place value on your own needs. You’ll learn how to set boundaries for yourself, develop compassion for yourself, and build a positive body image.

Self-care teaches you about what’ really important to you. It teaches you how to take care of yourself so you can take care of your partner.

Once you know how to give to yourself, you can give and take from others in a healthy way. Taking care of yourself has a positive effect on the quality of your life, which also affects the quality of the experiences you share with your partner.

How to Begin Practicing Self-Care

Everyone will have a different idea of what self-care looks like, but these practices will get you pointed in the right direction if you have no idea where to start.

  • Meditate: Many of us head to the gym to train our bodies, but we don’t think about training our minds. Meditating draws your mind inward, away from all the stress and demands of a hectic life. It can help you heal, relax, and most importantly, just rest. If you’ve never meditated before, many communities have classes for beginners, and guided videos are easy to find online.
  • Journal: Journaling helps you gain insight into your own thoughts and feelings. Keep track of what you eat and see how it affects the way you feel. Do certain activities or people make you feel depressed or anxious? Journaling can help you identify patterns, both good and bad so that you can adjust your routine in a positive way. These adjustments can give you newfound energy to apply to other things, like your relationship with your partner.
  • Exercise: You probably saw this one coming, but it really is important. One of the best ways to improve your mental and physical health is to get moving! According to Harvard Medical School, exercise can relieve depression, improve your focus, help you sleep better, boost your sex drive, and improve your wellbeing in general. They say that all it takes is 20 minutes of exercise each day to increase a woman’s libido by 169%. That’s positive proof that taking care of yourself can also improve your relationship.

9 Things You Absolutely Never Have To Share With Your Partner

Oversharing With Your Partner

As sex therapist and host of my personal favorite sex/relationship advice podcast Dan Savage once wrote, “Relationships aren’t depositions, we’re not under oath, we can hold some stuff back and still be good partners.” He went on to further add, “We have to hold some stuff back to be good partners.”

If you maintain your share absolutely everything with your partner and vice versa, then more power to y’all. Although I’d be willing to bet both parties are still keeping something from one another. Not necessarily something big, but something nonetheless. Because, after all, being a part of a healthy relationship inherently means maintaining your independence.

If you were to openly discuss every person you found attractive or break down that dirty dream you had featuring your SO’s best friend, harmony would be impossible. We keep things to ourselves in order to protect the ones we love. That being said, many things must absolutely be shared with your partner. Your plans for the future, your status in terms of sexual health, whether or not you are sleeping with other people, etc.

 

One Person Perfectly Described What Happens After You Lose The ‘Butterflies’ In A Relationship

If you’re ever been in a long-term relationship, you’d know first-hand that they are a lot of work. When you first meet someone, you’re happy, giddy, excited to get to know them and see where your relationship goes. As you progress in your relationship – transitioning from casual dating to a real relationship, a lot of things change. Long gone are the days where you blush, get embarrassed or nervous in front of your significant other – and instead, you reach a peak comfort zone with them. While this is never a bad thing – all long-term relationships should aspire to reach this place – some people are always worrisome when the “butterflies” and “Honeymoon stage” comes to an end.

People are always looking for ways to bring back that “excitement and spark” in their relationships, instead of feeling comfortable or happy with where their relationships are moving. Take it from someone who has been here – who is here – in their life. Once you reach new stages in your relationship – meeting your partner’s family, moving in together, traveling together – your relationship in itself will inevitably change. You reach a new level of commitment and often times, that means the excitement won’t always be there every single day. That’s not to say that it’s gone forever – it’s just not there every waking moment of your life together.

Sure, some days you’ll be excited to see your partner after work or school, other days, you’ll both be exhausted and barely speak because all you want to do is go to bed. It’s natural – it’s not a red flag, it’s nothing to worry about. It took me a very long time to learn this truth.

One person on Tumblr perfectly summed up the truth behind reaching this point in long-term relationships – and, it could not be truer.

Honestly – preach. I needed to read this – to fully understand and appreciate this chapter in my relationship and, I’m sure other people do, too.

19 Couples Share The Unspoken Rules That Keep Their Marriages Alive

Marriage is no walk in the park, as any married couple will attest. Choosing to spend the rest of your life with the same person is a decision you continue making every single day and it requires plenty of patience, sacrifice, and mutual respect. Not to mention, an unfailing sense of humor.

Reddit recently asked the married couples in its audience about the unspoken rules that help keep their marriage alive and their responses might just save your relationship—or at least, provide you with some pointers.

1. There’s no winning when it comes to arguments.

There’s no “winning” an argument when you’re married. You either come to an agreement somehow or you’ve both lost. A situation where one person walks away feeling discouraged, unheard, and disrespected is not a victory when you’re married.

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2. Honesty is key.

Everybody always says to be honest and to communicate with each other. The extra step that is left out is to not punish your spouse for being honest. Sometimes you might hear things you don’t like, but if you punish this honesty, the communication line will close.

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8 Things You Need to Know before Dating an Anxious Girl

Loving someone unconditionally through the ups and downs can be extremely challenging. Despite, the challenges of having a strong and balanced relationship it’s even more difficult when you’re dating an anxious girl. Don’t worry, the positives outweigh the negatives, you just have to take the time to understand what’s going on with her.

1. Small areas make them feel panicked and claustrophobic.

NEVER take them someplace where they feel trapped or boxed in. They will definitely have a bitch fit. When anxious girls go outside of their comfort zone their anxiety kicks in almost immediately. So, don’t say I didn’t warn you. Just avoid any intimidating situation and you’ll be golden.

2. She will probably have a mere panic attack before the first date.

Just a heads up, she’ll probably be the girl to knock back two shots before you pick her up to take the edge off. She just wants her anxiety to not be too high before she even steps into your car.

3. Doing the whole waiting game just won’t work with her.

Text or call her as soon as you can before her anxiety gives her a nervous breakdown. She needs extra support and assurance, but that shouldn’t be too much of a hassle. You do love her right?

4. Do everything you can to be there for her, and she will be forever grateful.

The anxious girl always assumes the worst. Try your best to provide constant communication with her, and be upfront about how you truly feel. She’s the one that will assume you got in a car accident, you’re cheating on her, or you could leave her at any time. For your own sake, tell her how it is, and don’t leave her guessing. She’s already having ‘what if’ thoughts. If you are there for her when she needs you, there’s not a doubt in my mind that she will be head over heels for you.

5. Trying new things is a big step for her.

Be patient and kind. There are a lot of thoughts going through her head. She needs comfort and a promise that it will be okay. There are times where she won’t want to do something because she feels uncomfortable. At the end of the day, it will be more rewarding when she takes a chance at something new. Just give it time.

6. You’ll probably wait around for her to get ready. A LOT.

She is going to be deciding on what to wear to dinner for hours. Give this girl a heads up. A surprise date is completely off the table. If you really value how she feels, your compliments will make her feel beautiful and she will stop stressing about how she looks.

7. She’s always uptight, but for that reason, she keeps it classy.

You won’t have to worry about her being the sloppy drunk. She’s always on point with what she does. She values her morals and wants to be good enough. A girl like her is one to keep around because even though she worries way TOO much, she wants the best for you and her.

8. On an even better note, when she loves you, she whole-heartedly does.

You know that this girl has thought out every aspect of her relationship with you. When she says she is in love with you, she really means it. She’s probably already received advice from ALL her friends and family about you. If you’re still her boyfriend, you will know that things are working out between you and her. And boy, if she introduces you to her family and friends, you are the one she wants to keep.

Dating an anxious girl is a challenge. If you find one you care about, it’s entirely worth it.

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