Our relationship has been easy. As I have unpacked my past trauma, you have been there through the whole process. We have had so many ups and downs. We have made it through them all, mostly with your reassurance. This stage has been hard on us.
C,
No matter what we have been through, you choose me. You choose to love me… To hold me through the hardest of times, and stand next to me as I fight the battles that are mine. You are on the sidelines cheering me on while I chase my dreams! For these things, I love you so much.
Thank you for showing me what true, safe love is. I never knew a safe love like I do now, thanks to you. When I feel unsteady, you lay with me, hold me, and tell me that it’s all going to be okay. You listen to my overthinking and try to give me the spin on it so that it all doesn’t seem as bad as it does in my head.
Thank you for showing me what real love is. You love my flaws and all; including the fact that you can make fun of them. You don’t care about the fancy dates or me getting all dressed up. I do notice the look in your eye when I do, though. I also know that you’d rather me be in an old t-shirt with my hair pulled back. We have a Sunday kind of love and it’s all I wanted and more.
Thank you for loving me through the hard times. You are always there no matter when I need you. From changing the flat on my car to holding me close after a nightmare to listening to me dump my stuff from the day. You have no idea how good it feels to have someone to call on after all the years of doing it alone.
Thank you for being the one to dream with me. I love that you look at houses with me and help me try to construct or dream house that will be functional and not too big. I love that you will sit with me and update our list of names for our future child (p.s. we need one for our future fur babies, too). Thank you for working so hard so that we can make our dreams a reality one day.
Thank you for being so wonderful you, your imperfections and all. I wouldn’t want you any other way. But I love all the things about you. From when I come out and you are in your truck singing along to your favorite country song. To the way your hair being a mess when I video chat you on my lunch.
You are the one and I’m so blessed to be able to spend this crazy life with you. I love you so much.
A note to you ladies out there, your safe love that is so unconditional imperfect is coming. Don’t settle for anything less!
“You’re the light of my life, you’re the fire in my heart when I’m lost and guides me back home. Every star in the sky shines brighter when you’re at my side. You are the light of my life”
You got it wrong if you think that playing games are going to get you far with me.
On the contrary, none of your “playing hard to get” actions and attitudes really fly. I know they’re total bullshit and don’t really add anything to your efforts to appear attractive, interesting or mature. I can see right through your bs; like when you intentionally wait to answer my texts hours later or cancel our plans last minute or how you always leave it up to me up to make plans to hang out.
When it’s been a while since someone’s fallen in love, they tend to become jaded and give up on the idea of ever falling in love again… But sometimes, on a few special occasions, there is light at the end of the tunnel.
1. They’ll be pretty nervous before their first few dates with you.
When they arrive to meet you, they’ll seem pretty chilled out. But what you don’t know is that hours before you guys met up, they were probably going over every possible scene in their head that included them messing up and tripping in front of you somehow.
2. But that doesn’t mean they’ll pretend to be somebody else for you.
Just because they’re nervous, though, doesn’t mean they’ll put up a front. Since they’ve been on their own for a while, they’ve learned to depend on themselves. They’re comfortable in their own skin. When it comes to dating, they’d rather be their unabashed selves, than pretend to be somebody else just to get another’s approval.
So you’ve found someone, and it’s been going well. In a relationship, you basically have two options: to marry your significant other, or to break up with them – no pressure guys. Call me unrealistic, but I feel like you shouldn’t settle either. I feel like if you’re going to be in love with someone and potentially marry them, they should make you feel like no other love you’ve ever felt before. I know it’s not realistic to expect a mind-blowing, insanely perfect relationship every hour of every day (trust me, there will be bad days), but I think that being in a serious relationship means that you want to progress with that person and potentially even marry them if that’s what you have planned for yourself. Here are some ways that I think prove you’ve found the person you’re going to marry. Love-Advice-101, ladies and gentlemen.
1. You’re willing to work through anything and everything together.
This is important. You cannot marry somebody who isn’t willing to always try and work things out with you. Life gets hard sometimes. Things happen and you and your significant other will run into problems about your relationship, guaranteed. The difference between a temporary relationship and serious, possibly-get-married type of relationship is the fact that you and your partner are willing to work things out, no matter what. Some of the conversations will be uncomfortable and some of them will make you cry – but, you need to work through the hard things to ever experience the good times.
2. It’s easy to imagine growing old with this person.
Being married to someone means sharing your whole life with them and living life together, but you can’t really do that if you have completely different morals, values, and goals. They obviously don’t have to be 100% exact either, but I think it’s important to be aware of each other’s values and life goals and see if some of them match up. If your partner has different morals or values that make you uncomfortable, don’t ignore that. It will come up as a problem in the long run. And, no one wants to get married just to get divorced.
It’d be difficult to live with someone who is messy if you’re super organized, or a night owl if you’re a morning person. It’s not impossible, but it’s so much easier to live with someone who shares similar major habits with you. Sure, you two may not match up 100% of the time with everything, but if they’re understanding and you both are willing to compromise on things, it’ll be smooth sailing.
5. In a room full of people, they make you feel like you’re the only one there.
This is one of the main reasons why I fell in love with my boyfriend. From the night we met, it’s always felt like even if we were in a room full of people, we were the only ones there, and I had never felt that before. Even now, we’re constantly off to the side at parties laughing at our own jokes and forgetting that other people exist, and I think that’s so crazy and so rare. Marry someone who makes you feel like this.
6. You both get stupidly excited dreaming about your future together, no matter how unrealistic the fantasy.
In our dreams, my boyfriend and I own matching Mercedes G-Classes and we have a studio attached to our million-dollar house to make art and music in. This might actually be our life one day, but it might not, and we’re okay with that too. Dreaming about it together and pretending we live this life is just as fun.
7. But, you also plan realistic things together.
My boyfriend and I have also planned out the type of bookshelf we need in our future house. Glamorous? No. Possible to fulfill so I can live like Belle from Beauty and the Beast? Yes.
I don’t even think you can be in a normal relationship with someone who doesn’t fully support the things that you want in life, let alone marry them. Don’t settle for someone who doesn’t give you their full support. Even if your dreams seem silly, even if your goals seem out of reach – your partner should always support you 100%. Find someone who’s your number one fan, and marry TF out of them.
9. They like your seriously weird quirks and habits.
You shouldn’t feel like you need to change the little things about who you are as a person in order to make your significant other happy. In fact, you should never change who you are to make someone else happy. The person you marry should accept the fact that you hate wearing pants (me) or that sometimes, in order to ground yourself on a stressful day, you need to lay down on the floor for a few hours (also me). The person you’re going to spend the rest of your life with will love the things about you that other people may find “weird.”
10. They don’t care that you snore at night (and other weird things).
Guys, I am a disgusting sleeper. I’m just going to put that out there right now. I knew that I wanted to marry my boyfriend when he said he liked when I snored because it meant I was having a good sleep. Sometimes I also sleep with my eyes kind of opened. It’s literally the weirdest thing, but my boyfriend doesn’t really care that I look like a zombie while I sleep, and that is why I’m keeping him around.
11. Running errands is actually fun with them.
Why would you want to be with somebody who doesn’t make simple things even a little bit more fun? Here’s my theory: laughter keeps you healthy, and errands get things done, so why not kill two birds with one stone?
12. They bring out an excitement for life in you.
Remember when you were little and you wouldn’t be able to sleep because you were so excited for a class trip the next school day? That’s what it feels like when you’re with the person you’re supposed to marry. They make you the most excited just to be alive with them, regardless of what you’re doing.
13. The love between you isn’t selfish.
You love each other without condition, and you don’t expect anything in return. Being in love with someone means that you want the best for them, not just the best for yourself, and I think that that’s important to know because you can’t base any relationship on self-centered needs and expect it to thrive. You realize that your relationship is a partnership, not just one-sided and both of you need to be happy in order for it to grow.
14. It’s easy to make big decisions together.
Anything from figuring out which cafe to go to, to figuring out which city to live in or which neighborhood to buy your house is easy when you do it together. You both know what you want, and you both know when to make compromises in making decisions. Making decisions, both minor and major, shouldn’t be difficult with the person that you’re going to marry – you’re going to have to make decisions for the rest of your life together.
15. They’ve changed your outlook on life.
Before I met my boyfriend, I was so against the idea of marriage after watching the marriage of my parents fall apart. Once I met him, all of that changed. I realized that love doesn’t have to be a negative thing, and it doesn’t always have to end badly. I can honestly say that my boyfriend has changed the way I view the world, and I never thought I’d ever been able to say that.
16. They inspire you to be a better person.
The person you marry should always inspire you. Life is about growing, and that shouldn’t stop once you get older and settle down. The person you are with should bring out the best version of yourself – without having to change who you are. The person you love, they should love.
17. You’ve gone through a lot together.
Sometimes life isn’t fair. Sometimes really bad things happen in your life, and sometimes that makes a relationship weaker. Going through serious things, both good or bad, with your significant other is a really good way to see if you’re both in it for the long haul. As long as you two can be there for each other and support each other through the good and bad, it’s a match made in heaven.
With all of the negativity currently inundating our newsfeeds, we figured Giving Tuesday was a good opportunity to shine a light on some more positive stories. Take this man, for example, who decided to sacrifice his personal vacation fund in order to help a student and their family. See? Not all hope is lost.
James, a devoted school teacher, and husband, recently sent the following text to his spouse saying he had a story to share.
She held onto you for as long as she could, but she realized that she was giving way more than she was receiving.
She’s had enough and staying would have been a betrayal to her soul, so you gave her no choice but to walk away.
She waited for you to give her a reason to stay, to give her a smidgen of hope that you would change, but no, you had no intention to fight for her
You got too comfortable being loved by her without realizing that her needs were as important as yours.
You didn’t fight for her and the truth is, you’re going to regret it. You’re going to miss her like crazy. You’ll realize that letting her go was the dumbest thing you’ve ever done in your life.
You’re going to realize that she’s probably the only person in this world besides yourself that actually gets you.
You’re going to find yourself understanding how she had the ability to motivate you like no other and that it was with her that you were able to be the best version of yourself.
Because she was a selfless girl with a big heart who gave you more than you deserved. You took advantage of her until you sucked the life out of her. Shame on you.
You can be sure that when you least expect it, the memory of her is going to creep in and you will long for her loving touch and the way she looked at you.
Because she looked at you and made you feel relevant, it made you feel like you had potential. She made you feel loved and you never felt love like hers before. You’re going to miss all of her so much is going to drive you off the wall.
She will no longer be there for you and you’ll realize how much you actually need her in your life.
You’ll wish you would have appreciated her sooner, you’ll wish you hugged her and kissed her every time she spent the night sleeping next to you.
You’re going to miss how she always went out of the way to cater to your needs and make you happy. You were so used to her making you the center of her world, you didn’t realize how she was the only one around you making you a priority.
No one cares for you as much as she did and you know it. You’re going to feel it the most when you have no one to turn to when you need cheering or a simple pad in the back.
Her absence will be so painful it will punish you for every single time you did her wrong. You’ll ask yourself a million times why you couldn’t see how much she meant to you. There’s no going back, you lost your chance, she was the one for you and you let her slip away.
You’ll experience heartache for the first time and you will be the only one to blame for it.
Loving someone can be challenging enough. Loving someone who lives far away? That’s a whole different ballgame. Because loving someone who lives far away means you’re living in all three dimensions: past, present, and future. Your past memories of this person fuel you to invest your present thoughts into them and make plans to meet again in the future.
The longing you feel when you’re not around them is a joyful aching, a pain you relish in. You get lost in the flood of thoughts of you two together. You fall into a daze of imagining the next time you get to have that again.
But this can also disconnect you from your present moment and situation, cut you off from your immediate surroundings because you’re thinking of a time that doesn’t exist right now.
Not until you’re finally together again do you throw yourself back into the present. No more disconnecting, no more disengaging. You’re in fully again. You savor each and every single moment, each kiss and each embrace. The mornings spent in bed with the sun pouring over your bodies remind you of a time long ago, one where responsibilities didn’t exist. You lay there as you hold each other and think, “Uh oh. I’m in trouble.???
Because when you fall you tend to fall hard fast. No matter the deadline, you go through the motions each time. You put off the thought of the painful inevitable, the goodbye that’s to come until you absolutely have to face the music. Every day seems to pass by quicker than the last, and before you know it, the time for departure makes its unwelcome arrival.
Each time you say goodbye, a piece of your heart stays with them. Every time you turn away, you entrust them with a bit more of your soul; will they be careful with it?
The longer you’re apart, the more the questions begin to invade your mind. As much as you enjoy the “being together when we’re together??? the thing, how long until your heart can’t take it anymore? How long until no longer enjoy the times when you’re not together? At what point do choices have to be made? No one prescribed a correct amount of time. No one wrote the rules for this. Everyone’s answer is different. So you find yourself continuing things as long as you possibly can because everyone’s answer is different.
As it’s comfortable there’s no reason to end it. As long as your needs are being met. As long as you don’t have to have to reach that point yet; the point at which your needs change (which they are subject to), and you plunge into building a life together, one that’s not a conveyor belt of hellos and goodbyes.
I’m not looking for Prince Charming, because I’m not the princess that needs saving. I’m not looking for you to be my everything, to save me or change my life. I’m not looking for you to sweep me off my feet right away, to answer my every beck and call and drop everything on a dime to be there if I call.
You see all these things would mean you’d be absolutely perfect and that I’m a little damaged and we already know there isn’t anything perfect and I wouldn’t want you to be that way. Perfect exists in fairy tales and Hollywood romances and if that’s all you’re looking for it’ll set you up for failure.
I don’t want you to be my everything; I just want you to be there for me.
With all of the negativity currently inundating our newsfeeds, we figured Giving Tuesday was a good opportunity to shine a light on some more positive stories. Take this man, for example, who decided to sacrifice his personal vacation fund in order to help a student and their family. See? Not all hope is lost.
James, a devoted school teacher, and husband, recently sent the following text to his spouse saying he had a story to share.
