6 Types Of Relationships You Should Definitely Say Bye To In 2019

The energy it takes to hang on to the relationships that aren’t building you up are holding you back from living your life fully.

2019 is the year we all have to fall back in love with ourselves. A big part of that process is to say #bye to all the people that aren’t making us fully happy. Because there is a more extraordinary love out there that you would never know if it didn’t end it with the last one. But the extraordinary has to start with you end things with the person who clearly doesn’t deserve you and watch how quickly new light comes into your life.  

1. Almost Relationships.

Fuck that. No really, fuuckkk that. You give too much to receive an “almost.” You offer too much to waste your time with someone who gives you almost what you need – someone who is not yet ready for love, who is afraid to say too much, to feel too deeply, to let people know what they mean to them. Whatever their reason is for not being ready, you have to walk away. Because you can never ever convince or inspire anyone to do the work to be ready. And plus, you’re just too fly for that shit.

2. Constant excuses.

I get it, they’re complicated. They’ve been through a lot. They’re broken, their past, pride, demons, the fact that they’re weak or scared, is their validation for why they stopped fighting for you, making an effort for you, the list can go on and on. But at the end of the day, we all have issues. We all have situations that have broken us, that have given us every right and reason to make excuses for why we act shitty. But all that matters, in the end, is that we have a choice about how we’re going to treat people. Being enigmatic is never an excuse to treat people poorly.

If you find yourself constantly upset and frustrated it might be time to say bye, because eloquent excuses for why they’re acting like shit will only make you feel better temporarily, but at the end, you will be the one who will suffer the most.

3. Not being appreciated.

It’s not the thought that counts. It’s not enough how they look at you, what they think about you. People think it’s enough that deep down, they love you. But that’s never enough – the only way we can judge people’s true feelings and characters is through their actions.

Don’t forget, just because someone is with you, has ‘committed’ to you, doesn’t mean they have chosen you. They have to make an effort for you, appreciate you, fight for you. If someone is willing to discard your love for the next hit, willing to lose love because of their pride, fears, ego or selfish ways, show them the door.

Because someone will value how special you are – someone will put in the effort it takes to be with you. If the person you’re with doesn’t wake up and realize you’re worth fighting for, they are the one who will suffer the most, but you are still the one with the full power to say #bye.

4. One foot out the door.

Many people haven’t lived enough to realize how special a true connection is. So they have one foot out the door. They don’t realize that this ‘something better’ is all an illusion – just their ego talking.

Many don’t realize an extraordinary love or person when they see it, because they themselves have to do the work to be extraordinary. If someone is unable to see what is right in front of them, if they think easiness is good, that there’s something better, that the more chances they have, the better, let them go.

5. Inconsistency.  

You know what I’m talking about, the ‘hey babe ‘I’m going to be super sweet toward you one night and then act like I don’t care the next.’ The ‘everything is going great but suddenly I’m going to pull back because I’m scared and complicated and this is too much.’ The ‘I don’t want to put in the effort that it will take to be with you, but I still like you and want to hook up with you so I’ll just half-ass it and do the bare minimum.’ No.

Not only is this a huge waste of your time, but it’s also super unattractive. Don’t let the mixed signals fool you. Indecision is a decision.

6. Selfish relationships.

My favorite. We all thought we wanted the complicated, mysterious “bad boy/girl.” This is also the person who pulls a 180 when everything is going great and tells you they’re in a very difficult time in their life, “I just can’t…I need space, I like you so much but this is very overwhelming for me…I like you too much, I’m scared.”

In reality, this person is just a narcissist, and after you constantly have to bend over backward and put your feelings aside because, you know, their inner world is just so deep and complicated, you’ll realize that the rush of the drama will get old fast when stress and instability starts to swallow your happiness.

Honestly, you’re too baller for any of that, and if you find yourself always being wrong, tiptoeing around them, listening to them for hours about how delicate and perplexing their emotions are, run away. They’re not that complicated – they’re just selfish as fuck.

When things aren’t meant to be, you will find yourself wasting so much of your energy trying to change them, fight for them, understand what went wrong. But sometimes, the best thing to do is just to let go, and watch how many greater things come into your life.

Go After Him, Because Regret Will Always Hurt More Than Rejection

“There are some people in this world who can just love and love no matter what.” –JG

Love has never hurt me, people have.

I don’t blame love for heartbreak. I believe that heartbreak is the result of a lack of love from another person. I believe if you look underneath what people claim they want, humans are very much alike. We all just want someone who gives a damn about us.

I’ve done many things for love. I’ve allowed it to make me crazy. I’ve crossed oceans to hand over my heart on a silver platter. I bought someone a puppy just because I could. I’ve written too many letters. I’ve driven for hours and spent pitch black nights on lonely highways. I’ve spent more money than I could even begin to calculate on showing others that I care.

I’ve stood there shaking, trying to tell another he was the love of my life with tears in my eyes as the words spilled from my lips, “I’m sorry but I’ve fallen in love with you and I think you are the most remarkable person I’ve ever known.”

Maybe I did these things because I’m crazy. Or maybe I’m not, maybe I’m the only sane person who values love in its entirety.

Every one of those moments has had two things in common; I took advantage of the moment because I knew I’d lose my chance if I didn’t say it right then and there and I got hurt.

“If you love someone, you tell them. Even if you’re scared that it’s not the right thing. Even if you are scared it will cause problems. Even if you are scared that it’ll burn your life to the ground, you say it. You say it loud and you go from there.” -Grey’s Anatomy

The things I regret most in life aren’t words I said or chances I took. The things I regret most are those times I was too afraid to make a move.

Regret will always hurt more than rejection. With rejection, at least I know I tried my best. I did everything I could and fully shared my abundance of emotions.

If someone cannot reciprocate the way I feel, that’s on them.

But there isn’t a person on this Earth who could look me in the eyes and tell me I didn’t give it my all. I’ll take the broken hearts. I’ll take making someone uncomfortable for a moment if they don’t feel the same way.

I’ll take it all with a smile and maybe a few tears, because I know I’m taking the right kind of changes in my life. That is something I can never regret. I know the love I give will one day be reciprocated. All of those gestures will come back to me, multiplied.

Of the greatest challenges I live with isn’t dealing with rejection, but not allowing that rejection to taint my views on love and how much I value it. I’ll continue to love hard. I’ll continue to love deeply. I’ll continue to do these things until I get it right.

Because when you love the right way, one day you meet someone who is worthy of everything you have to offer.

“Go after her. Fuck don’t sit there and wait for her to call, go after her because that’s what you should do if you love someone, don’t wait for them to give you a sign because it might never come, don’t let people happen to you, or her, she’s not a fucking television show or tornado. There are people I might have loved had they gotten on the airplane or run down the street after me or called me up drunk at four in the morning because they need to tell me right now and because they cannot regret this and I always thought I’d be the only one doing crazy things for people who would never give enough of a fuck to do it back or to act like idiots or be entirely vulnerable and honest and making someone fall in love with you is easy and flying 3,000 miles on four days notice because you can’t just sit there and do nothing and breathe into telephones is not everyone’s idea of love but it is the way I can recognize it because that is what I do. Go scream it and be with her in meaningful ways because that is beautiful and that is generous and that is what loving someone is, that is raw and unguarded and that is all that is worth anything really.” –Harvey Milk 

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Weird Things Every Girl Is Guilty Of Overthinking In Her Relationship

We’re all pretty much insecure about the same things but on different levels. And some of these things we’re insecure about—even in the most secure relationships—aren’t things we’re really willing to admit to our significant others: that his ex is prettier than us, that we kind of want him to text us first sometimes, that we hate asking him for help and more…

1. When you tell us we’re pretty

We know you think we’re beautiful. You say it with your eyes, and you say it all the time. But when you say it too often, we get kinda insecure about it. We know this sounds crazy. But we promise: it’s not. When you tell us we’re pretty every day, we wonder if you’re just saying it because you feel obligated to say it.

2. When you compliment us at all, really. . .

When you tell us the sweetest things, of course, we love it. But it also makes us insecure. And it sucks. Like, if you tell us how smart we are, we feel constant pressure to be smart.

So that means we kinda freak out if we’re wrong about something, because what if that’s the thing that makes you realize you don’t like us as much as you thought?

3. Saying ‘we’re forever’ is beautiful, but also a lot of pressure. . .

When we hear you say “forever,” we get excited but freak out at the same time. We want forever, too! That’s why we’re with you. But the future is scary as hell.

What if we want the same things now, but don’t in five years? We trust in you and this relationship, but things can change in time.

4. We worry that we’re thinking about you too much. . .

Everything either reminds us of you or is something we want to share with you but the idea that this puppy love has consumed us when we swore we would never, ever be like this, makes us majorly insecure about who we are.

Also, we can’t help but wonder: are you thinking about us as much as we’re thinking about you?

5. You know everything about us, you have all our dirty secrets.

Other than our BFF (who literally can’t judge because we honestly know way too much) no one knows our inner demons and flaws and all that dark twisty shit as much as you do.

So when we let you in, we also let in all this anxiety and wonder that you may judge us. That maybe you think we’re not the “confident” person you thought we were.

We never want you to think we’re fake and definitely never want you to get annoyed that we sometimes just need a vent sesh. Ok, we need to vent a lotta the time, and we’re super insecure about because we know how often we do it.

6. Even when you tell us we’re great in bed . . .

Not all of our sex is great sex, and that’s ok with us. But is it ok with you? Sometimes we wonder if we’re doing something wrong, or if we’re boring in bed.

And sometimes we even wonder if you think we’re too comfortable with each other?

7. Having the money talk. . .

Money sucks, but it’s a necessary part of life. And if our relationships are gonna last, we have to talk about it, as much as we don’t want to.

If you make more money than us, we’ll feel guilty when you pay for things. If we make more money than you, we’ll still feel guilty when you pay for things. Too many relationships end because couples ignore this topic altogether, which makes us want to talk about it no matter how insecure it makes us, no matter how scary it is.

It Didn’t Last, but You Gave Me So Much More Than ‘Happily Ever After’ Ever Could

I fell in love “the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once.” I don’t really know when exactly it happened, but somewhere in between our intense eye contact and you wiping away my tears, the walls I spent years crafting was able to come down. I crashed into you fully and never looked back.

Our hearts kept it simple.

My heart was unguarded, and I gave you all of me. We didn’t just hang out. We played. Our souls were alive, it was as if we were seeing the world for the first time.

Being with you multiplied all the good in life and changed me forever.

But our minds were another story.

We were complicated people, you and I. We weren’t simple. Our minds were analytical and imaginative and we thought about everything. A lot. We ended up making every situation in our life about 100x more difficult than it had to be.

We argued a lot. I fought with you at inopportune times, but my anger was fueled by my passion and emotions for you. I cared. I loved you. I loved all of you.

I loved that I was the only one you showed certain parts of yourself too, you gave me all of you.

I wiped your tears as you spoke about your family, there’s nothing in this world I loved more than holding your hand and whispering words of reassurance in your ear because I knew you weren’t broken, you were just bent.

And I loved all your edges, all your roughness. Your imperfections were perfect to me.

I challenged you because I loved you.

I confronted you a lot. I’m not the type of girl who nods and laughs and is always comfortable, I wasn’t easy — as in, I didn’t just “go with the flow.” But that’s because I craved more from you — I had opinions and big dreams for the future, I wanted the best for you.

I never put up with not getting everything I deserved.

I never let you get away with slacking on your talents or putting in the effort towards our relationship because I knew what we had. And you were never left uninspired or unsatisfied.

You broke my heart.

Not too long into our magic, things started to turn. The fireworks combusted, leaving us burned and confused. We wanted it so badly that we thought there was a logical solution to working out our differences. But there wasn’t.

The truth is, you just weren’t ready. Your past, your demons, whatever the reason was, you started to push me away. You loved me in a way I have never been loved but you still weren’t ready. And that was the hardest thing to accept.

I knew I had to let go. Because you never ever have to convince or inspire someone to do the work to be ready.

There are many things I never thanked you for.

I thought I couldn’t live without you, but my heart is finally starting to beat again. You broke my heart open, but a new light was able to make its way in. You made me so desperate and out of control that I had to transform my life, and I did.

I thought I would grow old with you, but sometimes, life has other plans. That doesn’t mean I ever stopped loving you. When someone touches your heart, they will infinitely be there.

I had so much anger and pain, it was gnawing away at me, slowly destroying me. But then I realized that our love wasn’t the kind that results in the fusing of two lives into one. It was the kind of love that gave me new life, which taught me much more than a ‘happily ever after’ ever could.

And I don’t regret a second of it.

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Don’t Date Until You Find A Guy Who Actually Pursues You

“Wait for the person who pursues you, the one who will make an ordinary moment seem magical, the kind of person who brings out the best in you and makes you want to be a better person.”

Wanting the guy who makes an effort, the one who actually gives a shit about who you are is not a lot to ask for. Your heart’s gone through its share of heartache and disappointment. You know your worth and settling for the occasional booty call is no longer an option. You definitely deserve the guy who actually pursues you. 

You want the chase, the excitement of someone putting in the effort. 

You need someone to show you how much they care about getting to know you. You want the kind of love that sweeps you off your feet.

Pursuing a girl should be a must but it sadly gets swept under the rug by most guys.

It takes grit and a level of maturity to master the act of pursuing a girl the right way. Some guys, even if mature, are, for the most part, practical beings. They don’t really see the importance of making the extra effort to get the girl they like.

Not every guy out there is going to miss the mark when it comes to pursuing your heart. 

It’s up to you to be picky with your heart. You should be patient and overall strong enough to set the bar high and wait for the guy who can measure up to your rightful love expectations.

Date the guy who will respect your vulnerability.

This guy will never use your vulnerability against you. Instead, he’ll appreciate you for everything that you are. Good or bad, he will celebrate the beauty in your imperfections.

Because he knows that he’s imperfect too and he’s not afraid to be vulnerable around you.

He’s confident about who he is and wants someone confident enough to measure up to his independence.

Wait for this guy, because he’ll respect your independence too and will take pride in pursuing you with all the romance and zero bullshit that you want and need.

He will make plans to get to know you instead of wait for you to do so.

This guy will take the time to get to know what you like and dislike and will be excited to surprise you with his initiative and creativity.

He will not be afraid to show you that he cares.

He is confident of who he is and what he wants and will go the extra mile to get what his heart desires.

He will chase you with excitement because he’s genuinely interested in you. 

No games, no bs. He takes pride in his ability to pursue you like your heart rightfully deserves.

Because he’s in touch with his emotions and knows the importance of being open with you about what he feels.

He will compliment you but he will also let you know if something bothers him about you. This guy will see the value in you and will never let you feel less than. 

He respects the process of getting to know someone special and what it takes to put in the effort to show you that he’s worthy of your heart.

You deserve to wait for the guy who wholeheartedly wants you and is not afraid to show it. Wait for this guy, because he’ll never get tired of letting you know how much he cares and how much you’re worth being loved.

This Is How She Wants To Be Loved, But Will Never Ask For

She wants to be loved in uncertainty. When it’s not easy. When you’re fighting and your eyes are reddened from emotion and frustration as you storm out the door. She wants to be loved in those moments of doubt when she’s driving you crazy. She wants to fall asleep, and wake up knowing that her heart is safe. She wants you to realize that she fights with you because she loves you because she is cut like a gem with many facets, she is a woman who won’t always be simple. 

She wants to be loved through your actions. Not by saying ‘I love you.’ 

She wants to be loved when you’re not with her, especially then. When you’re at a bar and she’s far away, and another girl approaches you, this is when she wants you to love her. Because that’s the real love that’s dying the romance of having patience, loyalty when things aren’t working at that moment, the romance of not having one eye wandering at the so-called ‘options,’ because you know that it’s all bullshit – that this ambiguous ‘more’ doesn’t even exist.

She doesn’t care about the grand gestures of love – she doesn’t need you to light a hundred candles, a five-star dinner or a romantic trip to Paris. Those things are nice, but this is not how you love her.

You love her by not breaking her trust, you love her by not seeking comfort or validation in the flirtation with another.

When she’s far away, when there’s doubt, this is when she wants you to love her the most.

She doesn’t want you to always agree with her. She wants you to understand her, but she wants to be challenged, pushed – to be better, to live better, to grow. She wants you to care so much that you won’t ever let her slack on her talents or not get everything she deserves.

She wants you to love her demons, the parts of her that can’t seem to love.

She wants you to see her at her worst, frustrating the shit out of you, and then think, ‘this is the only problem I want to have.’ She wants you to cup her face when she’s bare-faced, consumed with insecurity, palms sweating, scared to death to let you in, and look at her with such intimacy that it makes her believe in lasting relationships again. This is how she wants to be loved. 

Even if she’s a million miles away, she wants you to still feel her touch, her lips on your skin, seeing her gaze, looking right through you, touching those vulnerable parts of you that you hate. This is how she wants to be loved, and if you can’t love her like that, if you can’t love her when she’s not there with as much certainty as you do when she’s next to you, she doesn’t want your love.

She wants to feel like dating her is not the end of your freedom, but the beginning of it.

She doesn’t want to feel like the person you’re settling with, but the person you’re taking off with – planning every adventure with, shutting down the club with, every crazy dream you plan for the future, she wants you to see her in it. 

She wants to be the first person you rant excitedly to when your dreams come true, she wants you to see her next to you. And if you don’t see her there, she doesn’t want your love. Because this is how she wants to be loved, she wants to inspire you to get every single thing from this life that you want. 

She doesn’t want your money. She doesn’t want the lavish gifts. She doesn’t want to hang out, ‘Netflix and Chill.’ Not all the time. She wants to play, she wants you to dive into life with her, but not because she’s right there, because it’s comfortable, easy, but because everything is brighter and better next to her than you ever thought it could be. 

She wants to be the girl you fantasize about. The girl who makes your whole body excited with electricity.

She wants you to make love to her with such intimacy and passion that it makes her body tremble as chills run up her spine. When you look at her, she doesn’t just want you to see the woman that you want to grow old with, have kids with. She wants to be the reason you feel alive, the reason you love life. 

This is how she wants to be loved, but will never ask for. And if you can’t love her like this, she doesn’t want your love at all.

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10 Signs You’re Dating The Man You’re Supposed To Marry, Not Just Date

When we’re out in the dating scene, we tend to say a lot of goodbyes to guys we thought we’d have a happily ever after with. But every once in a while, we meet someone we don’t have to say goodbye to.

1. He’s not hesitant about making plans.

A guy you date will hit you up once or twice and then never call you again. (Though he will text you saying “sup”? five months later thinking you’ll actually respond.)

But the man you marry isn’t that guy. The man you marry is firm with his intentions to see you tomorrow because he wants to turn that tomorrow into the rest of his life.

2. He immediately makes new plans if he can’t make it.

A guy you date has no problem canceling on you last minute. It’s not really a big deal for him. But the man you marry? No, he wouldn’t dare dream of it.

When he cancels, it’s ahead of time, with good reason. And if it ever comes down to that, he makes sure to make new plans, which you can bet your a** he’ll make it to.

3. He doesn’t have other women on dial.

A guy you just date has a hearty supply of other girls on his phone. The second you’re out of the picture, he’s always got his stash to fall back on. The man you marry, though, will put the rest aside for you. He’s putting all his eggs in one basket and knows it.

4. He means it when he holds the door open for you.

A guy you date will act chivalrous with the hope that he gets the gold at the end of the rainbow A.K.A. you in bed. But the guy you grow old with will continue to open doors for you, even when he’s holding a walking stick.

5. He’s not hot and cold.

The man you marry is like hot cocoa on a winter’s day – warm, delicious, and most of all, consistent. He’s a balance, not a blizzard.

6. He makes you want to live forever.

We all get down sometimes and fall into moments of darkness where we feel stuck. But the man you marry will pull you out of trenches and break the monotony of it all. He’ll reinvigorate you with the lust for life you knew you always had. And a guy you just date won’t do that.

7. He won’t get off until you get off.

Some guys think that good sex is equivalent to “lie down & c*m fast.”? But the guy you marry will make it a point to put you first in all aspects of the life, which includes the one in the bedroom.

8. He embraces commitment.

A guy you just date might be sweet and all, but when it comes down to bigger commitments, he’s suddenly squeamish. The guy you marry, though? No, the word girlfriend doesn’t scare him. Because what’s the word girlfriend when he’s got bigger things on his mind, like wifey?

9. He’s the good kinda crazy.

A man you date will show sides of his crazy that are destructive to your relationship. Or he’ll run away because he has “issues”? before he even makes the relationship official, which really means he’s batsh*t.

But the man you marry will be the right kinda crazy that complements your crazy. Your levels of weird are soulmates, just as much as you guys are.

10. He wants the same things you want.

Not all guys we date are assholes. Sometimes things just can’t progress because the two of you have different outlooks on life or you want different things.

Whether it’s kids, where you want to live, or how you want to live, the man you marry will want the same as you so that you can start building the lives you’ve both dreamed of.

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To The Next Guy Who’s Willing To Brave My Storm

“Storms never last do they baby, bad times all pass with the wind, your hand in mine stills the thunder and you make the sun want to shine.”

First off I can’t promise you that the journey you’re about to embark on is going to be easy, but I can promise it’ll be worth it.

“Nothing that’s worth while is ever easy. Remember that.” -Nicholas Sparks

I don’t know when I’ll meet you, though I can tell you I’m looking forward to it. Don’t be alarmed if I seem guarded and uninterested, I’m just tired of dealing with guys who can’t handle the love that I have to offer.

I’ve been introduced to all the wrong guys, the ones who let you fall with no intention of catching you or worse the ones who prove that it’s hard to find someone that’s willing to be loyal to just you. From a young age, I’ve known guys that have abused, used and played with my emotions.

I need to tell you a few things before you jump in the head on. If you invest your time in me, I’m going to invest mine in you.

I’m going to love you with everything I know, and I’m not going to half-ass it either.

My walls are built high, with a moat around it. It’s unfair to you that I automatically judge you to be just like the people of my past, but it’s to protect my heart that so easily clutches onto the idea of love.

I’m the girl who loves with every fiber in me and I do it the right way. A lot of guys don’t know how to handle or accept the kind of love I have to offer.

My heart has been broken in the past but it doesn’t mean the right person can’t help mend it. I’m braver because of the heartache, because not only am I willing to take chances on people, I’m willing to give someone else the chance to get the love I think they deserve.

Finding someone who can love me the way I can love them is something I’m looking for and I’m willing to work for the relationship that not only I deserve but that you deserve as well. It’s a partnership, I’m looking to grow and enjoy life’s adventures with. It’s a chance that is terrifying because I could end up heartbroken again but I’m willing to try and fight for love.

I’ll let you in on my past because for us to have a future we’ll need to start at the beginning. I’ll reopen the wounds and the pain because I trust you.

“Everyone has a past, but that’s just it. It’s in the past. You can learn from it but you can’t change it.” -Nicholas Sparks

I’ll take you on the good days and the bad. When you’re ready to tell me about your demons, I’ll face them head on with you. I’ll never be quick to judge because I know how it feels and if your past troubles you, I’ll work to help make it a little less troubling.

Our generation has lost sight on love and romance, but I can tell you I’m not that girl. I’m a hopeless romantic that’ll remind you daily that you’re important to me, even in the smallest gestures.

As I’m asking you to not take my heart for granted, I promise to never do the same to yours. This isn’t a game of who can break whose heart first and if you open yourself up to me I promise to cherish everything you share and the memories that we make.

I’m asking you to be patient with me. It’s not going to be an easy task for me opening up to you right away. If you put in the work and the effort, I promise my heart will show you the loyalty you deserve. Once I love you, I’ll love you in ways you never thought imaginable.

All the reasons your past relationships didn’t work out won’t matter to you anymore; I’ll show you what was wrong with those girls and raise your standards to what a real relationship should be like.

I’ll love you with my whole heart because that’s all I know how to do.

I vow to help you love life, to always hold you with tenderness and to have the patience that love demands. To speak when words are need and to share in silence when they are not. To live with in the warmth of your heart and always call it home. –The Vow 

30 Signs You’ve Found A Man Who Can Handle An Alpha Female

The sign of a real man? The guy who can handle your strong personality

  1. He doesn’t call you a bitch just because you speak your mind.
  2. He likes when you challenge him…
  3. ..because your no-bullshit-attitude brings you two closer.
  4. He might admit you’re complicated…
  5.  …but he enjoys your strong, complex mind.
  6. He’s been bored in the past with others who were passive and never took charge.
  7. He’s tough but easygoing.
  8. ..because he isn’t easily hurt or offended by your bluntness.
  9. He is excited—not threatened—by your life outside the relationship.
  10. …your career, friends, family, work: he wants to hear about all of them.
  11. He doesn’t waste your time with excessive lateness or flake-outs.
  12. He totally gets that your time is just as valuable as his own.
  13. He doesn’t test your emotional boundaries by playing the cold shoulder.
  14. So you don’t spend nights wondering if he cares about you.
  15. He seems energized by your energy, not drained by it.
  16. When you’re making lots of plans and taking charge, he thinks it makes you awesome, not bossy.
  17. He encourages you to follow your dreams, no matter how crazy they are.
  18. …because he gets that you won’t ever be truly happy as a stay-at-home gal.
  19. He doesn’t walk out when you have late night fights…
  20. …when you’re angry, he takes all your words to heart rather than being turned off by how forward you can be.
  21. On days or nights when you’re busy because you have to put your career first, he doesn’t take it to mean you don’t care about him.
  22. In fact, he seems proud that you’re such a go-getter.
  23. On days or nights, you spend with friends or family, he never gets possessive.
  24. On your girls’ night, he’s happy watching the game, not blowing up your phone jealous about what you’re doing out without him.
  25. He doesn’t second-guess your decisions…
  26. ..but he isn’t afraid to tell you what he really thinks when you need to hear some hard truths.
  27. He doesn’t see your personality as a barrier to intimacy.
  28. He knows that you can hold onto your independence and hold on to him at the same time.
  29. Your Alpha-ness ? you can’t be loving, too.
  30. He gets that you love just as strong as you live all the other parts of your life.

And When She’s Finally Had Enough, This Is What You’ll Miss

She was a rare one, the kind of girl with a big heart. The kind that loved to love. She’s not your typical girl. Any other one would’ve given up on you and all the ridiculousness so much earlier. It will be a slow and gradual slip until she’s left with no choice but leave.

There will be a moment when it finally clicks and she’s had enough.

She’ll get tired of waiting for you to figure it all out. She’ll get fed up with giving 100% and only getting a fraction of that back. There will be a time when love no longer will be enough.

This is when you’re going to start realizing she loved you more than anything. That she was the only girl who’d put up with so much of your crap.

You’re going to miss her.

You’re going to miss the way she smiled. She wasn’t always a big fan of it but god that girl’s smile could light up a room. You’ll miss how you would look over at her and when she saw you her lips instantly formed that grin and you couldn’t help but smile back.

She smiled at you for no reason because she loved you and looking at you. Now you look around and there isn’t anyone smiling at you.

You’ll see that the one person you could always turn to when your day was rough is gone. 

You could call text or show up at any moment and she would always be there for you. She didn’t want it to come to this. She wants to be there for you, she wants to be a shoulder when you need it and your voice of reckoning when you can’t find it.

Late at night, you’ll roll over and where she used to lie, where you used to wrap your arm around her and pull her close will be a cold empty space. A bed that used to seem so small will suddenly become so large.

Her absence will begin to drive you crazy.

It’s that same silence she received from you. You probably at the time didn’t realize that she started most of the conversations; she sat inches away from you on the couch and waited patiently for you to put down your phone. She never complained, never got angry she just kept it inside.

You’ll wish you had noticed sooner.

You wish you’d noticed that she felt like she wasn’t a priority in your life. You’ll wish you had sent more texts, just let her know you were thinking about her. You’ll wish you stopped checking your phone and paid a little bit more attention to her. If you had, you would’ve noticed her slipping away.

If you think about it, her texts started to become shorter and shorter. She stopped texting you first thing in the morning, stopped asking you how your day was, she stopped putting herself out there. She hoped you would have caught on and picked up the slack, but you didn’t.

You lost her slowly, not all at once….but you didn’t even notice.

You’ll miss the ease of things. She made everything easy, she didn’t play games, she didn’t treat you terribly and she went above and beyond to make you happy. She was everything you wanted and everything you needed and didn’t even know it. You stopped being everything she needed. You pushed her to the point that you became everything she didn’t want.

You’re going to miss the little quirks that made her who she was. You’ll catch yourself saying words and phrases that she’d say that used to annoy you but now makes your chest tighten in angst. You’ll go to places that have memories imprinted in them and they’ll replay in your mind each time you walk in.

Your phone will buzz and you’ll hope it’s her.

You’ll hope she caves, gives in because she’s always been there for you. You’d kill for the chance to reel her back in and for everything will go back to normal but she won’t take the bait. She loves you still but she can’t handle it anymore and she has to keep herself guarded and away from you.

One day you’ll go out and you’ll see her across the room, either by herself, with friends or perhaps a new guy. Jealousy, remorse, sorrow, and every other feeling imaginable will flood over you.

When she looks your way, pay attention to her eyes— there will be a mixture of feelings. Memories of the two of you and the love she had for you but then she’ll look away.

Heartache is going to sink in, and you’ll be the only person you can blame.

She’ll be gone and you’ll be left to stand there, watching her be happy and wonder why you let her go. She made it look so easy, seeing you and moving forward but what you don’t understand is seeing you crushed her a little bit as well. Moving on meant forgetting you, it meant learning to love someone new and it meant comparing everyone to you.

You ruined everything.

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