self-esteem Archives

10 Simple Ways To Fall Back In Love With Yourself

“Never let anyone disturb your composure, deter your accomplishment, or destroy your happiness.” – Anonymous

1. Know when to walk away.

I truly believe that the moment we start accepting bullshit is the moment we start falling out of love with our lives. Investing our time and energy into something or someone who isn’t offering respectable returns is a recipe for falling out of love with ourselves – and then our lives.

In order to fall back in love with our lives, we have to let go of certain things that we’re wasting our precious energy on; we have to know when we’re being taken advantage of and when to walk away from people who aren’t appreciating us.

Having a very low tolerance for crap enables us to walk away when we need to and therefore use all our energy to build the new, to innovate the lives we actually want to live.

2. Stop accepting half-ass commitments.

You give too much to receive an “almost.?? You offer too much to waste your precious time with someone who gives you almost what you need – someone who is not yet ready for love, who is afraid to say too much, to feel too deeply, to commit fully.

Never accept that romance is dead or that people don’t fully commit anymore. It’s only dead for those who accept “almost” – who don’t know how love or commitment looks like, sounds like, feels like.

3. Don’t take bullshit excuses.

Often “almost?? relationships come with excuses. Don’t accept any bullshit – that he’s too “complicated” or “just being honest” or scared because he likes you too much. No.

Bottom line is if you don’t mean enough to someone for them to make the effort to be with you fully – they shouldn’t get any of you. #Bye.

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To The Girl Who Feels Like She’s Easily Replaced

It’s tough feeling replaceable. It’s even worse when it’s by people that should never put you in that situation. It seems like a never-ending cycle, that eventually everyone replaces you and you begin to wonder, “What is wrong with me?”

“Am I doing something that makes people decide I’m convenient one moment and disposable the next?” Is the reality of my life that I’m going to always be a stepping stone or a stop in the road instead of a destination?

There isn’t anything wrong with you, there is so much wrong with the people who treat you the way they do. It’s what happens though when you try to see the good in everyone and give endless chances.

You’re so much more than a convenient stop, so don’t ever let yourself begin to believe this.

You’re always the go-to when someone needs something but they aren’t always there when you need them.

It’s not just boys that make you feel this way, though you’ve had your share of heartache because of them. It’s also friends and family. The family is what stings the worst because they’re supposed to be there for you always.

All you want is someone to stay; something so simple but seems like a far-off notion.

You want to be able to let down your guard to a person that opens their arms to you and catches you when you fall. You need to be loved as you love.

Let me fill you in on something extremely important. There is a man out there for you, waiting to show you what a real gentleman is like. He’s not going to lead you on, make you fall in love. When the feelings start to become real, he isn’t going to let you fall through the cracks and walk away.

He’s going to prove to you that he’s going to stick around. He’s going to stay.

He’s going to love you unconditionally because it’s what you deserve. You don’t deserve to be scared of being left behind, discarded like yesterdays lunch. You’ll be treated like the queen that you are.

When you tell him about your fears, he’s going to hold you close, let you cry and reassure you that he couldn’t fathom hurting you that way. He’s going to thank the idiots who didn’t realize your value because they made it possible for him to be there to catch you.

He’s going to curse them though for breaking your heart, because someone as sweet as you don’t deserve it, and he’s going to help protect you from further hurt.

The waiting isn’t easy, but it will be worth it.

I know the thought that there is a guy out there like this seems farfetched. It’s hard to think someone’s going to treat you different when every man in your life has made you feel this way.

I promise you though, someone as wonderful as you won’t be lonely forever. Someone will value you and once this happens, all the pain you’ve endured will make sense.

So wipe away those tears, and brush those terrible thoughts away because one day you’re going to realize that these heartbreaking moments were just stepping stones. They were not only making you a stronger individual but they are also directing you on the path towards the right person.

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To Every Girl Who Has Ever Questioned Her Worth

There’s nothing wrong with you.

It’s normal to get hurt and feel like you’re the one that is flawed. It’s normal for your confidence to get shook up a bit. Maybe it was over a guy. Maybe someone said something to you that has you questioning everything. Maybe someone criticized you, or hurt you or knocked you down. Maybe your heart is completely broken right now. Maybe he left for someone else, and you don’t know why.

And here you are just fumbling through your day, just trying to get through it without tears. But you should know, it isn’t your fault. It’s nothing you’ve done wrong. It’s nothing you’ve said. It isn’t that flaw that you obsess over. I know you wish there are things you could change about yourself. We all have insecurities, but it is how you overcome them that matter. If you were this or that or looked different, maybe things would have worked out in your favor, but you can’t live in a world thinking what if. All we have at this moment is what you are, and it is your job to own that.

It’s your job to find that confidence, even if it’s been shaking a bit.

But I’m here to tell you there’s nothing you need to change about yourself because if he was the right person, he’d see your value and see how lucky he is.

It’s his loss, not yours.

You have to understand, it’s his loss. You aren’t the one who lost something. I know you don’t think that though. I know you are hurt and vulnerable and struggling a bit. But it will be okay. Your whole life will be okay!

Sometimes when things end, instead of pointing at the other person thinking, “wow you’re an idiot,” we point at ourselves and struggle to walk away with grace. We say and do things in a desperate attempt to win them back, but anyone who is worth it doesn’t ever need to be won over. You don’t need to convince someone you are worth it. Because you are worth it. You are beautiful. You are perfect the way you are. And I’d hate to see you change because someone doesn’t see that.

Your only flaw is in your confidence.

I think people are really mean, but sometimes we are meaner to ourselves when we shouldn’t. Sometimes we are harder on ourselves than we should be. Sometimes we criticize and analyze and break ourselves down, far worse than anyone else can.

You have to get to a point where you’re building yourself up so high, that if anyone were to walk away, you continue on your path and let them go on theirs. Never alter anything about the way you live your life, in an attempt to keep someone around. If someone doesn’t want to stay, f*ck them. And that’s the attitude you should have right now if someone hurt you.

I think relationships ending and how you respond to such things, can teach you a few things. If you’re a mess and can’t function, it’s normal. But if you think you only matter because of someone else, that’s when you have to reevaluate your relationship with yourself.

Confidence is tricky sometimes, but you shouldn’t only be confident in yourself when you are loved by someone else. No matter what is going on in your life or whoever is unkind, the number one relationship you can rely on is yourself. The relationship with yourself will affect the relationship you have with others.

So if you shake up a bit, if you are heartbroken, if you think you aren’t gonna get through this. Blindly trust me when I say you will. But sometimes the answer comes from within you.

Everything will be okay.

And you’re gonna come out of this stronger, more beautiful, more confident than ever. And I know you don’t think that now, but I can promise you one thing, the moment you realize your self-worth and look at your reflection with the confidence you deserve, you’ll be his biggest regret. When that happens, he’ll come back, but you won’t even want him anymore.

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To The Girl Doing Too Much For Everyone And Not Enough For Herself, Read This

It’s okay to admit it — being the one who everyone relies on gets hard sometimes. It doesn’t make you less amazing or less of a woman. It doesn’t make you weak. It makes you human.

We all have bad days.

It’s okay to accept them for what they are though: just a bad day. Not every day is bad. It’s not a bad life. You are no less because you had a bad day. Pick yourself up, brush yourself off, and move forward. You’ve got this.

We are all fighting a different battle, facing our own challenges, and struggling with different things but we all have one thing in common. We have hopes, dreams, goals, and aspirations and we’re going to keep going until we reach them. And we have too many people relying on us to fail.

Maybe you chose the journey you’re on, or maybe life happened and this is how it played out.

Either way, it’s here now and you’re doing it. You’ve come too far to stop now and there are too many people relying on you.

I know the feeling of wanting to quit…of wanting to crawl under a rock, to hide so no one can find me and ask me for anything else. I know the feeling of not having any more of yourself to give and yet someone else is asking for a piece of you.

Everyone wants a piece of you and no one gets how thin you’re already spread.

When you have those moments remember there are others in your shoes. We’re here. We’re fighting the same battles. We’re exhausted. We’re moody.

We want to quit just like you, but we won’t because we’ve come too far to give up now and too many people are relying on us.

When you want to break down, go ahead. Go ahead and cry.

Go ahead and take that nap. Go for a run. Read a book. Do whatever you need to do to be the best you possible.

I know you feel selfish. I know you feel like you should just be able to keep going. In reality, though, you’re human and sometimes you need a break and that’s okay. We can’t always be superwoman.

No matter where you are in this journey of life someone sees you.

Someone knows how hard you’re working. And there’s a whole army of us out here doing it with you. Look around and you’ll see you’re not alone. And next time you feel like giving up know we’re there with you but you just have to keep going.

There’s a light at the end of the tunnel and as long as you keep moving, no matter how slow, you will make it.

To The Girl Who Needs To Remember She’s More Than Enough

“Life is tough my darling but so are you.” -Stephanie Bennett-Henry

The most important thing I want you to take away from this is that you are most definitely, without a doubt good enough. I need you to remember there is absolutely nothing wrong with you.

I know there is a good chance you are rolling your eyes at that statement, you may be muttering to yourself, “yeah right” or “whatever” but mutter away cause it’s true.

It’s tough being the girl who cares too much. The girl who would do anything for those she cares about without wanting anything in return.

I totally get that. It can take a toll on a person.

You’re the girl that overthinks everything. The one who worries about everyone before worrying about herself. You’re the girl who loves with her whole heart. You jump in with no hesitations. You’re also the girl who’s had her heart broken because of it. The one who at the end of the day begins to question everything.

You need to erase this idea that there is something the matter with you. Delete the notion that you’re unlovable, that you have some sort of personality flaw that stops someone from loving you.

You see the problem was never you. It’s the boy you openly gave your heart to, that couldn’t see the value in your love. A guy who took a heart of gold and tried to tarnish it. A guy who doesn’t deserve the love you’ve continuously tried to give him. If he makes you feel like you’re not good enough, he isn’t good enough.

Forget that guy because as much as losing him hurts, there will be someone to pick up the pieces and help you leave him in the dust. There is someone out there who will show you how a real gentleman treats a lady.

Let me tell you, you deserve a man that will lift you up, help you believe in yourself, remind you fairy tales do exist and that you can have your own Nicholas Sparks tale, but it’ll be even better cause it will be your own.

Stop comparing yourself to every other girl out there. You were born to be different, to be an individual. You’re not supposed to be like everyone else, otherwise, you wouldn’t be you.

Just because she has some features you wish you had, doesn’t mean you aren’t deserving of the same things she is, it doesn’t make you any less of a woman. She may be taller, weigh a little less than you but it doesn’t make her better. Chances are there are things she doesn’t like about herself as well.

The things you see as flaws or imperfections make you the wonderful woman you are.

Stop looking at yourself in the mirror feeling disgusted. Stop picking out all the things you hate about yourself. Focus on all the good. Stop telling yourself that if you lost a few pounds everything would be better. Stop convincing yourself your weight is a reason to not be worthy.

You have to learn to love yourself before you can expect someone else to love you. I promise there will be a guy who will love every little thing about you, even your love handles, the way your hairs a mess when you wake up and every other thing you think is wrong with your body.

Please know that the scale doesn’t define you. You may be skinnier than other girls or you may be a little more curvaceous and both of those are perfectly fine. Embrace it all, because you are beautiful.

Forget those who make you feel any less deserving of respect, love, honesty, loyalty, and trust. In fact, tell them bye, Felicia. Don’t let the door hit you on the way out, because those who refuse to see your worth or helped put the notion that you’re not good enough is someone you don’t need around.

Love yourself. You are wonderful and worthy.

You are more than “good enough”. You’re great, and your strengths outweigh your weaknesses every day.

You are beautiful, strong, intelligent, witty, sarcastic, funny and worthy. You’re a genuinely beautiful soul and a fantastic woman, so please believe in yourself, and screw the haters.

-From one girl who let the world tell her she wasn’t good enough, it’s time we start believing we are.

To see more of Audi’s work check out her facebook page.