Ah, butt stuff. The wariness us ladies feel about it is almost as strong as our male counterpart’s desire to try it. While there’s many a woman who has tried it and loved it, there’s plenty out there who are terrified to try it.
Before I gave it a try my first time, I read almost every tip article on the Internet but didn’t find myself more confident. So, I am writing the article I wish I would have read before deciding to give it the old college try. Gals who want to give it a go, this is for you.
1. Realize it actually isn’t going to hurt that bad.
The first and most important step is realizing that this isn’t going to be the worst pain you’ve ever felt in your life. It certainly doesn’t feel completely natural, especially the first time, but it honestly is not that bad. It becomes a lot less scary once you realize that.
2. Warm up to it, but only a reasonable amount.
A lot of articles recommend going from pinky to pointer finger to multiple fingers to toy etc. Realistically, you don’t need to do that much preparation. Giving a finger or two a try leading up to it certainly can’t hurt, but you don’t need to be stretching yourself out with a different thing every day.
3. You don’t need to “clean up” before.
Any article that suggests you should do an enema before or otherwise “clean” yourself out is ridiculous. It is your butt. There is supposed to be stuff in there. And regardless, pretty much nothing comes out. I’ve had anal many times and have never seen anything on him after. His junk isn’t going to be covered in shit, so stop thinking that.
4. And that said, you don’t need to be drunk, either.
If being drunk will make you feel infinitely more comfortable, go for it. But being sober and being able to, in a positive state of mind, let him know what does and doesn’t feel good, is a positive thing.
5. Decide what position you want to try before getting started.
Discuss with your partner what you want to try. I know being on top sounds horrific, but allowing yourself more control can be beneficial. Doggy or even missionary allows them more control over speed and depth. Whatever you want, discuss before.
6. Lay a sheet down – you probably won’t need it, but do it anyway.
I’ve never had any sort of mess, but of course, your butt is involved. There is always a small chance there could be a mess. Lay a sheet down to see how your body reacts. Chances are, nothing at all will be there and you won’t have to do it next time.
7. Use a lot of lube – but not too much.
Using lube will make everything much easier and much less painful. Using too much lube will result in a LOT of slipping that might be more painful than it actually going in. But some on him and some on you and see how it goes. You can always add more.
8. Start slow.
Unless you’re VERY antsy to get it over with, don’t have him just jackknife himself into you. Have him insert a finger or two, and then slowly work your way up. Have him start by thrusting slowly until you let him know when (or if) it is okay to go faster.
9. Remember…you’re not shitting on his dick. I promise.
You’re going to feel like you’re shitting the entire time, and you’re going to feel like you’re shitting after. You’re probably not. Don’t be anxious the entire time.
10. Try to stimulate yourself however you prefer.
There are many women who are able to get off from anal penetration, but many more who can’t. Use a vibrator or stimulate yourself with your fingers to let yourself enjoy it, too!
11. Get into it – no sex act is enjoyable if you’re just laying there tolerating it.
Maybe it hurts and maybe it doesn’t feel like much, but try moaning or dirty talking or getting into it however you prefer. It’ll make your partner (and you!) feel more comfortable.
12. Discuss cum maintenance before starting.
If you’re using a condom (which is recommended!), then you’re golden. If you’ve been with the same person forever and you feel confident in their sexual health and choose not to wear one, discuss what’s going to happen when he gets off. Regardless of if he’s going to pull out or if he’s going to cum inside of you, have something ready to clean up. You can’t get pregnant from anal, but you can get pregnant from dripping in afterward. Be diligent.
13. Realize it might not get you off.
Don’t expect to enjoy it. If you do, yay! If you don’t, that’s okay – sometimes we make sacrifices for our partners, and if it isn’t that bad, you can choose to do it again without getting off.
14. If you hate it, you don’t have to do it again.
Everything is worth trying once. If it is awful, embarrassing, painful or otherwise unenjoyable, don’t do it again. And if it hurts horribly while doing it, you don’t have to finish. Trying something is just that – trying it. If it doesn’t work out, there are plenty of other ways to have fun in the bedroom!
Trust me, I know putting something in your butt is scary, but I promise it isn’t as bad as it sounds! Give it a try and maybe add the booty to your sex rotation!
