Tag: single

A Valentine’s Day Date with Me, Myself, and I

Listen. I just don’t understand all the bitterness that surrounds Valentine’s Day for people that aren’t in relationships. I’ve been single for eight years, and it’s one of my favorite holidays. I’m serious. Everything in stores are bright pinks and reds, the chocolate selection is top-notch, and it’s just a day to spread love… So, why the hate?

This year, we’re all approaching a year of quarantine, and while I have my moments of desperation to go out to dinner and a Broadway show, I must say I’ve really started to take to this shelter in place lifestyle. The 14th will be no different for moi; I’ll be home alone, but I have more plans than Macaulay Culkin on Christmas Eve.

Allow me to explain.

First and foremost, it’s the perfect time for me to make an excuse to spend money on myself, being that it’s nestled right in between Christmas and my birthday. Do I need an excuse? No, not at all.  There have been so many Zara boxes delivered to my building; I feel like my neighbors are starting to judge. Regardless, it’s impeccable timing for me to just check-in and make sure I’m not neglecting myself in any way… Ya know?

This year, for Valentine’s Day, I’ll be receiving a spin bike for the last unoccupied corner of my tiny NYC apartment, and it’ll be brought to me by my one and only true love: the Amazon Prime delivery man.

I will also be trudging through the mountains of snow to the local cookie shop called Chip NYC, which I frequent. Their V-Day selection includes Red Velvet Cheesecake, Strawberries and Cream, XOXO Funfetti, and, of course, traditional Chocolate Chip. Yes, I looked up their cookie schedule ahead of time and I have to say… I’m so jazzed.

Next, despite all the bodega guys doubling their flower prices on Valentine’s Day, there’s nothing I love more than buying myself flowers.

As our girl Lizzo says, “I get flowers every Sunday; I’mma marry me one day.” Since the holiday falls on a Sunday this year, I can’t possibly defy Saint Valentine AND Lizzo, so I shall sleep easy knowing my $20 bill got $10 worth of roses; inflation be damned.

Now, if you’re thinking the plan is to eat cookies while putting together my new workout equipment: stop. I’m not a monster! I would never do manual labor without cookies AND wine… A nice, full-bodied, Napa Cab to be precise. I will tread cautiously, though. Last year, I bought myself a desk and got a little too carried away with the wine, super-glued it backward, and had to throw it out and order a new one.

I nailed it the second time, though – literally.

While 22-year-old me might have been a little bummed about not having a “Valentine’s date,” 28-year-old me couldn’t be happier scrubbing my bathtub for a deep soak and a face mask. I’ve actually been saving one for the occasion. I got this $1200 set of face masks for $40 on GILT (I highly recommend for skincare savings). They’re made with 24k gold and snail eggs or something crazy. I expect to take it off and have the plump skin of an eight-year-old, but, like, without the baby fat.

I guess what I’m trying to say is there’s no need for the Valentine’s Day blues!

Bottom line: it’s a day to celebrate love, and whether that love is for your friends, your family, your dog, or yourself; it’s worth celebrating. So, while I look forward to future Valentine’s Days spent with a significant other in a California king bed at the Plaza Hotel drinking mimosas and eating pancakes in robes with their logo on them (Macaulay Culkin style), that’s just simply not my narrative right now. I do have one, and only one concern: I hope all my red lipsticks last to see another V-day, post KN95s. *Googles expiry time on lipstick*

*Disclaimer: You should throw out lipsticks after a year and lip glosses after only six months!  Apparently, the wax has the tendency to trap bacteria. Ew. Will I follow this advice? TBD.

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About the Author

Kaitlyn-Renee Urban is an actor and writer with a passion for highlighting feminism in the arts. She hosts an IGTV show (coming January 2021) called “What We Know Now” centered around supporting local, women-run businesses while picking their brains for advice they’d give their younger selves. She lives in New York City, but it’s easier to find her on Instagram.

28 Signs Your Life Is A Romantic Comedy, Minus The Romance

Everything is almost right. You’re meeting cute guys in even cuter ways. Your friends are hilarious: every time you say “lol,” you are actually laughing out loud. And you’re clumsier than ever. In an adorable way, of course.

 

The problem? The cute guys never text you back. And when your hilarious friends actually give you good advice, you don’t follow it. Everything about your life is exactly like a romantic comedy, minus the romance. Because when it comes to love, your gut is at the bottom of the gutter.

 

1. You met a hot, adorable guy in an elevator the other day.

 

2. He helped you pick up your purse and didn’t even laugh at all the tampons and Tums he saw.

 

3. But he never texted you back.

 

4. Your first kiss with the last guy you were dating was in the rain.

 

5. . . . It’s too bad you were wearing a white shirt and your worst bra.

 

6. You live in a really expensive apartment. You can barely afford it, and it’s not fancy at all. It’s actually a totally run-down disaster.

 

7. And it’s always messy.

 

8. Your best friend is more quirky than you.

 

9. But her advice on love and romance? Terrible.

 

10. You’re extremely awkward, especially around attractive men. But not in a way that’s also kind of cute.

 

11. You hate this one guy so much right now.

 

12.  . . . He’s going to be your next boyfriend.

 

13. Your gay co-worker tells you what to wear.

 

14. And how to give a blow job.

 

15. But it seems that whenever you follow his advice, disaster strikes.

 

16. Like, when he told you to hum while you give a blow job, you hummed “Let It Go” from Frozen.

 

 

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The Biggest Lessons You Learn Being Raised By A Single Mom

Growing up, things were never easy. Our household consisted of coupon cutting, sporadic family time, and a lot of rushed meals. My mother worked full-time, 6-days a week, and my sisters and I were all at different stages of our life, academically and socially. We were a tight-knit gang of 4—supporting each other every step of the way, but I’d be lying if I said things were easy.

There were times where I answered the phone and the bank was calling about money owed, times when I needed money for a school trip and the funds just weren’t there, times when I woke up in the middle of the night and heard my mom crying, quietly in her room. There were memories that I look back on and wonder if there were things I could have changed. But, there are traits and lessons I have learned, throughout the years, that made me realize that growing up with a single mother was the biggest blessing I could have been given.

 

How to manage my money.

My mother worked very hard to make sure that my sisters and I had everything we needed. But, working on a single income in New York City with three kids is not easy. In fact, my mom had to budget the sh*t out of her paycheck every single month to make sure she had enough to cover rent, food, electric, clothes, extracurricular funds, etc. Everyone in my family laughs and calls my mom the “bargain hunter,” but, she’s taught me the value of always looking for a less-expensive route in all that I do. Now, as an adult who has moved out on my own, I’m always looking for sales, looking at circular fliers, and trying to get everything for the lowest price possible. In the end, it only pays off—literally.

 

 

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Why Girls Who Go Through A Brutal Breakup End Up The Happiest

“Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you’ll start having positive results.” –Willie Nelson

You’re going through a brutal breakup and the last thing you wanna hear right now is “things happen for a reason.” Like, come on!. You’re emotionally exhausted, your heart is aching and so over feeling like you’ve been deprived of happiness forever.

You should trust that in a weird way, whether you think it’s possible or not right now, you’ll end up the happiest. Your heart will go through hell and back and will most definitely survive it.

Right now, you just can’t find any sense of solace in a few words of encouragement.

Because you simply cannot comprehend how life can be so unfair. You loved passionately and intensely and in the blink of an eye, it all went to shit. You can’t accept it and absolutely nothing can ease the pain that you’re feeling right this second.

The memories that you built with him are all you can think about and the thought of him kissing you again literally consumes every second of your day. He’s all you ever wanted and you can’t fathom life without him. You wonder, how am I ever going to get him off my mind? How is my body ever going feel like he made me feel?

It’s a pressure in your chest that makes it almost impossible to hold back your tears. It’s brutal.

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Tips To Follow If You Are A Single Working Woman

A single working woman has a life in which she has the liberty to do whatever she wants and the way she wants. This freedom can be devastating for their career and personal life if they don’t know how to balance it. They need to learn the art of maintaining a work-life balance to live a happy and content life. If things get unstable and they are unable to hold things together, it will adversely impact their lives.

If you are a single working woman and finding it hard to manage various tasks at the same time, you need to take a step back and re-evaluate your preferences. In the journey of balancing the two worlds of your office life and yourself, always choose you. Alongside, the work-life also needs proper attention to pursue a bright career. Here are few tips to keep work life and personal life on track for an elated and meaningful life.

How To Keep Work-Life On Track

1)   Always be happy at work

Happiness is the key to keep things simple and easy. It’s a choice which makes your work-life smooth as you enjoy accomplishing your tasks and assignments. To be happy at work is easier said than done. It requires a positive mindset and a calm approach.

In the business world, some good employers take care of their staff; on the other side, there also bad employers who make their staff’s life miserable. If you are working in a toxic environment, you must avoid negative people and focus on your work. Choose to be happy and enjoy your work.

2)    Set your preferences

This is one of the fundamental aspects which lead you to become successful in your career. You must set your preferences at a professional level. If you have sales abilities, and you understand the norms of the marketplace, then join a marketing firm. If you are good in numbers and enjoy working on excel, get into the finance department. You need to figure out your responsibilities at various levels and set your priorities accordingly.

3)   Ask about your work progress

Let’s face it; you already have a clear idea of how good you are at work and what areas you need to improve. It may happen that you are completely blank about one of your weak points, and your manager has to explain how to overcome it. In some cases, feedbacks do come to your table on their own; in other cases, you have to take the initiative and inquire about your progress in work from your boss. Ask him that you would like an evaluation of your work as you are responsible for your performance. Interact with your clients; their feedback will be affirming about your approach.

4)   Invest in your development

Aim to reach skies, as you are the writer of your life story. You are the person to invest in for your growth, professionally and personally also. Don’t just go to the office to complete 8 hours shift and wait for the paycheck at the end of every month. Take charge of your growth; look for specific and practical courses, seminars, or workshops.

How To Keep Personal Life On Track

1)   Give yourself some time

During the busy schedule, you continuously need to remind yourself that nothing is more important than yourself. You need to give some time to yourself and enjoy your own company. Hardships of being a single working woman can get on your nerves, so you need to take a break every now and then. You may spend time with your family or visiting your friends. If you want to spend your weekend at home, no one will bother you to go out. Sleep till evening, try a new recipe, clean your house, and do whatever you like. Have some quality time to relax your mind and body so that you get recharged again for the coming working week.

2)   Follow your passion

A single woman has more time and flexibility to follow her passion in her personal life as compared to a married woman. If you have an artistic approach, pick a paintbrush, and start making strokes. If you have an interest in sports and love to play tennis, go to a tennis court and stretch out your arms. You may have a social mindset which believes that giving is living, then join a social welfare organization or an NGO and bring change in the world. Don’t let your work or other people determine what passion you must pursue. Follow anything that brings meaning and purpose to your life.

3)   Be more grateful & optimistic

Gratitude is the key to live a happy and content life. Being a single working woman, sometimes you get so busy in your office, chasing target and deadlines that you stop appreciating what you have. It may happen that this work pressure gets out of control, and negative thoughts contaminate your mind. During this tough time, you have to be optimistic and be more grateful to God for all the blessings you are graced with. This will instill your mind with positivity and zeal to help you overcome the hurdles and shine like a star.

Author Bio:
Liza Brooke is currently working as a Blogger at King Essay UK. She has a strong background in observing and counseling human psychological aspects. Liza is invited as a motivational speaker at various social and corporate platforms. She likes to play tennis in her spare time.

Married Women Share The One Thing They Wish They Could Tell Their Single Friends

Getting married is a very special moment for anyone involved, but especially special for the bride. Many women dream of their wedding day and starting a family with their soulmate. However, once they get married, their lives change. For women who get married and still have a bunch of friends who are single, it can be hard for them to understand the complexities of marriage and starting a family. For those who are married, you know how it can be—your single friends want to go out, go on vacations, and constantly do things spontaneously, not realizing that a marriage is between two people who make decisions together. Therefore, it’s difficult for some married women to have their single friends understand all of their “new life” changes.

Recently, BuzzFeed asked their female users who are married to share the one thing they wish they could tell their single friends about marriage and daily life. While some women focus on the changes you undergo when getting married, others had some brilliant life-long advice for new marriedwomen to follow.

1.

Please understand if we’re busy and on our time off we want to hang out with our spouse. I’ve went to considerably less girls nights since I’ve been married, not because I don’t enjoy hanging out with them, but because I want to spend time with my husband when I can.

–amberyr

2.

Getting married and having a family is wonderful. However, I had to move when I got married. This created an emotional (and quite literal) distance between my single friends and me. The reality is: You gain a lot when you get married, but you also lose some things too. It can become a brand new environment. But still, my single friends need to know that I haven’t forgotten them.

–kellyt4f2d08291

3.

When I say I need to check with my partner, it’s not because I need “permission”. We do things as a team, it’s important for us to run plans past each other to keep our family running smoothly and to show we respect each other.

–jessicar4e9f53a2d

4.

Marriage is not romance and roses everyday. Marriage is choosing someone and making the effort to be the pest person possible for them especially when it’s really hard.

–l4fef36788

5.

That marriage doesn’t magically change your relationship. People always ask how’s married life and honestly it’s the same just with differenttitles and as with all relationships, it’s work.

–lindseyn12

6.

We may vent about our spouses but that doesn’t mean we have a bad marriage. It just means we need to vent, or talk through a problem with someone so we can find a solution or figure out how we feel about it. Don’t make assumptions about my marriage because I need to talk or vent about one of my husband’s annoying habits.

–amyrousep

7.

Try not to judge your friends when they already have plans with their spouse and can’t hang out with you. Just because we live together doesn’t mean we always spend fun, quality time together. Many people marry their best friends, and we want to hang out with them, too!

–kelseyc4761a3328

8.

My marriage isn’t perfect because I talk about all the great things. It’s also not terrible when I talk about all the bad things. People tend to talk about the extreme highs and the extreme lows. You need somewhere to vent when bad things happen and someone to be happy with you when the good things happen.

–homebody13

9.

Just because I’m married does not mean I need to be with my husband 24/7. Please still invite me to girls night out and brunch. I don’t want my husband to be my only friend.

–tuamater13

10.

To single friends who want to stay single: do you! I want to hear about your exploits and gossip with you and go to bars and hang out with you just like before.

To single friends looking for “the one”: ignore all the cutesy quotes and people telling you what marriage and love are “absolutely” like. Every person is different and every relationship is different. The only way to go wrong is if there is abuse or neglect. Marry the person you can’t imagine your life without. Or at least, the one you don’t WANT to imagine life without.

–d4ea205bf0

11.

Don’t just marry someone because things are always great with them 100% of the time and they make you the happiest you’ve ever been. Marry someone that you’ve gone through hell AND BACK with because chances are you’ll hit tough timesagain and you’ll know they’ll still be there when it’s over.

–melissaw23

12.

Just because I’m married, doesn’t mean that I am going to have kids! And it’s rude to ask!

–a485ce6abc

13.

Marriage is an ever changing beast. As you grow your desires and dreams for your life may change. Your partner is learning how to grow with you and that process looks different for everyone. No person comes with instructions. Our emotions change and so do our looks/bodies. It’s all a part of life that can’t be ignored by your partner. Their response to life’s situations will be different than yours and figuring out life’s complexities are hard. Marriage that lasts a long timeare about two people who commit to working alongside the crazy ride of life.

–jonellemitchellc

14.

Stop saying that we are your relationship goals. That puts undue pressure on us and makes it seem as though marriage is easy. It is not. It is work.

–Booknerd13

15.

I want you to tell me if I’m not there enough. My marriage is obviously extremely important to me…. but without friends you have NOTHING. If you need me, please ask me. I value being a good friend just as much if not more than being a good wife. No I don’t want to go bar hopping on a Saturday night, but I WILL if you need me too,m and probably love every minute of it.

–ginger01

16.

You don’t feel like a third wheel to us when you hang out with me and my husband. Or with us and other couples. We still want you around. Also, my husband is my best friend and while I still want to hang out with you one and one, I really want my friends to also be friends with my spouse. So sometimes we’re a joint package.

–daisyliz

17.

Love isn’t this high you ride your whole life with your spouse. It gets hard and the best way to combat divorce is knowing that going it. Marriage is choosing to commit to that person because you love them in a different way even when butterflies come and go. Even when the feelings are gone the best thing I’ve found is to start treating one another like you’re still dating- if you used to bring them ice cream randomly, or light the room with candles… the hard part is doing it when you truly don’t want to.

–ekc27

18.

Marriage is not an end goal. Being married doesn’t solve all your problems. Stop fantasizing that if you were only married, life would be better. Yes, sometimes it’s nice to have my husband to come home to.

–catherinecombs

19.

Marriage is work especially when both people are dealing with mental health illnesses. I know work sounds like a bad thing but it’s not. It’s working on ourselves and relationship that will enrich us and help us continue to grow as individuals as well as in our relationship. Being vulnerable has helped us come a long way. Understanding their mental health is important too and makes them feel validated. At the end of the day my spouse is my best friend.

–Straberriepinapple

20.

A wedding rarely solves any problems. If you and your partner have an issue while dating, it will most likely be there after the wedding day. You should talk about everything before you get married so that there are no surprises later. Do you want kids and how many? What do you consider to be cheating? ? How do they want to be buried? Who gets the dog if you break up? What happens if one of you ends up on life support? Will you tell your children santa is real or fake? Just everything you can think of should have been decided before you say I do.

–CandyKitten

There’s A Company Giving Away Free Vibrators To Anyone Who’s Lonely And Single This Valentine’s Day

For those who are single, there are few things to look forward to in the month of February. In all honesty, there’s not much going on—with the exception of Valentine’s Day and President’s Week. Unless you’re a huge U.S. history buff, I doubt you’re looking forward to partying down for Abe Lincoln’s birthday. Instead, we’re blinded by nothing but red hearts, pink candies, and tons of lovey-dovey Valentine’s Day love. For single people — it’s a real nightmare.

But, if you’re a lady who’s standing solo dolo this V-Day, you can spice up your evening and your V-J (see what I did there) thanks to one toy company that’s looking to make single ladies extra happy this year. PlusOne, a company that specializes in sex toys, is giving away free bullet vibrators to 250 people who have just gotten dumped right before Valentine’s Day. So, if your heart is aching and you know that you’re going to be alone — why not be alone with a smile on your face, right?

All you need to do is fill out this form explaining how you recently came into the single life — I’m sure that the sappier you are, the better chance you have of being selected to win. As long as you submit your story before February 13th, you will qualify for your own, personal, free, bullet vibrator.

Sounds like a win-win to me.

Why Ariana Grande’s ‘7 Rings’ Is The New Independent Woman’s Anthem

Ariana Grande has had one hell of a year. From a terrorist attack at her own concert, a safe place for any successful artist to a publicized break up to losing an ex-boyfriend and longtime friend to a drug overdose—it’s almost as if the odds were against her. We’ve seen the story for so long with pop singers who gain too much spotlight and recognition—they burn like the bulbs of paparazzi cameras in an all too publicized breakdown. In the early 2000s, we watched “pop royalty” fall down the totem pole labeled as “crazy,” or “mental.” It was only a decade ago that cameramen were chasing down Britney Spears with an umbrella.

But, Grande has taken all of her adversity and proven that she is the iconic woman all young girls and women should be recognizing everywhere. Her most recent album, Sweetener, stood at the top of the Billboard charts for weeks, with not one, not two, but three singles breaking records. Her following single, Thank U, Next, stood at the top of Billboards Hot 100 chart for not weeks, but months.

And, yet, Grande was saving the best at an unexpected time. Her new single, 7 Rings, is one for the books, and something that will go down in history much like Destiny’s Child’s Independent Women as an anthem for all independent, self-sufficient, strong women to follow.

The song was inspired, as Grande let fans know, by a spontaneous shopping trip to Tiffany’s with her friends. After getting tipsy on champagne with her girls (goals) she bought 7 of her closest friends matching rings—and later got one for her mother and nonna (also goals).

https://twitter.com/ArianaGrande/status/1068929900856279040

And, thus, with her friends by her side—7 Rings was born. And yet, with all of Grande’s powerful lyrics off of Sweetener and her change of artistry, I was unprepared for the strength that was to come from this single.

While many accuse the song of being materialistic and embracing a consumer society based on luxury and wealth, I see it in a completely different energy and light. 7 Rings is about buying things—but it’s more about the ability for a 25-year-old, hardworking, successful, strong woman having the ability to rely on herself and only herself to get what she wants when she wants it. Grande is preaching an anthem to ladies everywhere that, while in the times of “My Favorite Things” and The Sound of Music, women were looking for men, now, women can look out for themselves. It’s a transformation that all women should embrace.

So often, the music industry has posed pop singers and women in a position in which they need a man, a male companion, by their side for marketing. Label executives plan PR events, red carpet walks, dinner dates to make women appeal to fans and followers. Grande defies all industry odds and makes a path for herself in her own way, letting women know that it’s okay to be on your own, play by your own rules, and get things for yourself.

You don’t need a man in your life to pave your way or help you get places. In all honesty, you only need yourself, and some really down to ride friends by your side.

If you take away anything from this song, besides the ability to rock to it in any setting (bass up in the car, ladies), it should be that your dreams and goals are never out of reach as long as you work hard for it. Grande has had a hell of a year success-wise, but that girl works harder than most artists today. No matter what you want in life for yourself—from the small to the big—it’s always possible, and you don’t need a man to bring it to you like Grande says “buy myself all of my favorite things.”

2019 will go down in history as the year of all the self-made ladies, with a little thanks from Ari herself.

22 Painfully Accurate Tweets For Anyone Who’s Just Trying To Survive ‘Cuffing Season’

Cuffing season is upon us, people. Whether you acknowledge it or not, it’s officially the neediest time of year. Those of us who are single will be looking for someone to snuggle up and hibernate with until the spring.

Anyone who truly understands the struggle of cuffing season will appreciate all of these tweets. Don’t judge, it gets lonely out there.

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3.

4.

5.

https://twitter.com/plantdeath/status/1064951056168304642

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