No Spice

Need to spice up the bedroom?

I just got through a very difficult time in my relationship with my boyfriend. And I wanted to share my experience with you.

Let me just start by saying, that relationships, no matter how wonderful, are also a lot of work. That is because men and women think differently, they prioritize needs differently and are turned on sexually in entirely different ways. Maintaining a healthy sexual relationship with your partner can ease the burden and the stress of the day to day. Keeping an active and healthy sex life is an important aspect of a relationship.

When Sex Leaves The Bedroom

When my boyfriend and I hit a rough patch, I went through the usual scenarios in my head. Maybe it’s because we’ve been too busy to really enjoy each others company, and both he and I have been so busy at work. He seems so distant and angry all the time. Could he be upset with me? His behavior is really putting me off and I really don’t want him to touch me at this point. So needless to say, our sex life has not been as active recently. We definitely needed to spice up the bedroom action.

The P Word

A few weeks later, my boyfriend and I are stumbling past each other, barely saying hello and goodbye with only hand gestures, a friend reached out to me to catch up. Sarah, had recently gone on a date with a new man. I was thrilled to have her tell me the juicy story about the new suitor. Anything at this point to distract me from my sexless relationship and my need to spice up the bedroom.

Sarah, my sweet friend was thrilled with her date, then something happened. On their date, the guy had mentioned he watches porn. Well that was the beginning of the end for my friend. She did not want to see him again. No second date. Done.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t watch porn either. But let’s face facts, all guys watch porn. I realized that this was definitely not a good deal breaker. Sarah thought otherwise, and that was certainly up to her.

A Spicy Thought

That evening, I thought a bit more about it. I remembered when I first saw my boyfriend checking out one of those sites of hot webcam girls I remember feeling butterflies in my stomach and feeling like I was supposed to feel some sort of anger and betrayal towards him and his act of watching strangers having sex, right in the middle of our living room! But he stopped what he was doing when I came in the room, and looked happy to see me. Honestly, I dismissed the concern over it at that point.

So back to my relationship and my reality. It was clear that one of us needs to spice things up and you know how it is ladies, we have to do everything.

And now, back to the Porn.

While it is really not my thing, though neither is the violence of football or UFC, by the way, but I do watch those to enjoy the time with my man. I wondered, can porn be a similar activity, but one that gets us both really revved up and excited? Maybe? Maybe not?

Before I tell you the rest of my story, here are some tips if you decide this is the spice you want to add into your relationship.

It doesn’t have to be your thing

First, know that it doesn’t have to be your thing. If it doesn’t get you that excited, that’s ok. Just know that your man likes it and it gets him excited, and pleasing your man does excite you.

It’s just fantasy

You do know that your man really doesn’t want you to be a porn star, don’t you? So seeing two girls with one guy perks up your man. Just know that he’s not necessarily thinking about bringing in some strangers to your bed.

If this spice is Infrequent, it will be more exciting

All guys watch porn. And probably too frequently. So be sure to make this a once in a blue moon, special spice that you selectively sprinkle on as the sugary, and supportive sweet girlfriend that you are. Make this the unique spice that gets the juices flowing for a fun trip to the bedroom.

Being open and receptive

Now, back to my story. So yes, I suggested we watch porn. And not just any porn. Something that he really liked, that he really wanted to show me. My boyfriend took that task seriously, and after careful research, within twenty minutes or so, he was ready to show me his porn favorite.

What did I think? Admittedly, it did get some of my juices flowing… But most importantly, it got his! And he showed me his appreciation for my willingness to try new things by taking care of my needs.

For my friend Sarah, porn was a dealbreaker. But it does not have to be for you. Make it your own experience and see if you can impress your man at the same time by taking his watching porn a bit more seriously. Maybe you’ll even learn a little more about what your guy likes or how to do something new. Just keep it fun and have a healthy and loving sex life with your partner.

If your sex life needs a little extra spice, I can help make things better. You do not have to stay stuck in a rut. We can help you turn your sex life from mundane and lifeless to smoking hot with a few simple steps. Get ready for a major change in the bedroom after following these spicy tips for rev up your sex life!

1. JUST GO FOR IT

A major tip to make sex more exciting is to engage in sex more often. Forget the excuses of being exhausted or the infamous headache. Once you let go and get into the act, you will have fun. The only way to regret sex is not making the effort or missing the opportunity. So, say “yes” and just go for it whenever you can.

2. BE THE INITIATOR

If you are often the one waiting for your #partner to ignite the flame, you are missing out on great opportunities to have sex. Most men prefer when their woman can be assertive by initiating sex. So, try it out and see how he feels about it. Most likely, it will all go well and you will find yourself initiating sex more often. Two people initiating sex could result in twice the sex!

3. WEAR SOMETHING LACY

Men are notoriously visual creatures. Wearing lace in the bedroom is definitely going to catch his attention quickly. Lingerie is just one place to incorporate lace. Try wearing sexier, lacy panties and bras. If you are anything like me, after I wear lingerie a few times, it just ends up at the bottom of the drawer for months before it ever see the light of day again. Spicing up your underclothing will draw attention to yourself each day.

4. TRY FLIRTING

Sex rarely starts in the bedroom. A way to initiate those feelings is by flirting with your man. Tell your man how attractive you think he is and give him a #little tease. Let him know what a great prize you are. There are multiple ways to flirt. Send a seductive text telling him you can’t wait to see him…alone, or try something a little racier.

5. SHOP FOR TOYS

Sex does not need to be the same each time. Try adding something to your sex life to make it new and exciting. Consider adding sex toys like clit sucking vibrators. If you do not have any, you are overlooking the fun and excitement they can bring. Just going shopping for sex toys with your man can be arousing. You both will be rushing home to try them out! Shopping for sex toys can open the door to a new sex life as a couple. Did you know that some sex toys can remove some of the emphasis on penetrative sex with your penis, which may (ironically) help stimulate an erection by alleviating performance anxiety? You can read more about this topic and maintaining an erection in this article by Felix.

6. MAKE TIME FOR FOREPLAY

Men are like light switches, they easily go from off to on. However, #women are more like a dimmer switch that is slowly turned up. This means, your man may be ready for sex in a heartbeat, while you are somewhere near the starting line. It is perfectly fine that you need more #time and effort to get going. Tell your man what will get you going and how much better sex is when he takes his time with #foreplay. I promise he will enjoy the process just as much as you will.

7. MIX THINGS UP

If you only have sex in the same position and in the bedroom, it makes sense why you are bored with your sex life. Go from mundane to magnificent by mixing things up. The easiest way is to try a new position. Buy a book on sex positions to find out about more advanced sex positions like those in the Kama Sutra. A little education on the subject will guide your sex life in a completely different direction. Take things up a notch by having sex in the shower…or kitchen.

You can spice up sex in so many different ways. Discovering the variety of things you can do to heat up your sex life is fun. Which one will you try first?

Tag: spice-in-the-bedroom

How To Spice Up The Bedroom By Watching Porn Together