This Is The Way A Strong Woman Loves

Strong Woman

 

A strong woman loves like a gentle rain swirling into a hurricane. Her love is cautious as she fights to maintain her independence; reserved as she convinces herself that she doesn’t need a man in her life. But slowly and steadily, she lets herself fall into him, washing away her inhibitions, loving him fiercely.

 

A strong woman loves with steadfast reserve turned to unquellable passion. She wades into his life unafraid that he will break her but constantly wondering if she should embrace her ability to feel. His love for her strikes her in the center of her hardened heart, and she rapidly melts under its weight. As she plummets, courageously aware that there is nothing to cushion the pain, her strength manifests in her powerful, steady feelings for him.

I Am Slowly Learning What It Means To Be Okay

I am slowly learning what it means to be okay.

It seemed to be an unfading happiness, a joy that tears could never squelch. An inextinguishable self-love. An indubitably fulfilling life.

“Okay” was a panacea, a remedy for every conceivable personal ill. A life devoid of problems, mental roadblocks, and perpetual sadness. It was health. It was love. It was perfection. It was a journey; extraordinarily simplistic at first appearance, but nearly impossible to reach.

The seemingly perfect “okay” I sought was nothing but a fantasy, an ideal conceptualization awash in a haze of temptingly alluring lies. I am slowly discovering that being okay is an art form, a balancing act, a dance, a marriage of joy and melancholy.

It’s no longer feeling numb in the wake of life’s problems, but never being fully able to reach the glowing warmth of true happiness. It’s an ember that gradually warms the heart but gradually flickers out as the sadness returns to envelop your mind.

It’s refusing to hate your body and your mind, but not fully loving yourself. It’s looking in the mirror, acknowledging your appearance and walking away as you valiantly fight off the negative thoughts that are bound to invade your mind and refuse to let go.

It’s wondering if you should leave your job, but convincing yourself to stay. It’s resolving to make the most of your circumstances instead of seeking a new path. It’s accepting your decision not to move forward without true happiness, but without regret.

It’s resigning yourself to a life of “almost relationships.” It’s constantly bouncing between “single” and “it’s complicated” without constantly thinking about finding “the one.” It’s seeing an influx of engagements and marriages, but no longer wondering when your will find your forever person.

It’s acknowledging that your life proceeds on its own timeline. It’s no longer wishing that you were somewhere else in life, even though you don’t love where you currently stand. It’s attempting not to compare yourself to others, even if you don’t always succeed.
It’s complacency. It’s resignation. It’s acceptance.

It’s feeling caught in a hazy limbo between who you are and who you could become, not seeking out change, but no longer feeling completely numb as you ponder your life choices. It’s feeling joy and sadness in tandem as you reflect on your life. It’s experiencing the contentment that arrives after tremendous pain, the simple sparks of emotion that remind you that you are sentient.

Being okay is embracing the monotony inherent in living. Being okay is knowing that no matter where you are or how you feel, you are enough.

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