Woman Begs Internet For Advice After Receiving Horrendous Engagement Ring

Getting engaged is a monumental moment in every woman’s life—they look forward to it for years. While many woman dream of their “ideal ring,” there are those who will be happy with anything their partner chooses—with some exceptions.

One soon-to-be-bride shared her story on Reddit, saying that she was “so excited to get engaged to her boyfriend of 5 years.” However, the ring was so bad that she had no idea what to do. She said that she and her boyfriend had “discussed” some things she “didn’t want,” but she had never expected to receive this.

Twitter
Twitter

She asked the Internet for some help in how to approach the conversation about getting a new ring because let’s face it—she can’t rock this every day.

Twitter

She then shared a photo of the ring…wow, just WOW.

I can’t even believe this is real. And, neither can Twitter.

https://twitter.com/pushing30withk/status/932748627939700737

https://twitter.com/r1nabeana87/status/933038985340911617

If I were her, I’d throw my whole fiancé away, too.

People Are Admitting The Dumbest Things Their Significant Other Has Ever Done And…Just Wow

We all do stupid things in our lives—no one is perfect. Sometimes, we make mistakes that we can easily recover from. Other times, our partner will never, ever let us live down the dumb, outrageous, stupid things we do and say. Isn’t that what love is about, anyway? Good thing there are places like Reddit who ask our partners to share these very stories and embarrass us all for the rest of our lives. Good thing my boyfriend doesn’t use Reddit much—or I’d be f*cked.

1.

She told me she only waxes her legs, because if you shave one hair, then it splits and two grow back in its place…

bleanblanket

2.

I asked him to plant a baby tree in the back garden. The next day I saw it and thought it looked strange. Walked up and it had been planted upside down. He thought the roots were tiny limp branches. Laughed for days.

goaheadblameitonme

3.

We bought a new car. She asked me if I changed the settings to Spanish because it said ‘Ajar’ on the dash when the door was open.

Chibano

4.

As I’m in labor with our daughter, my husband asks “Do you want her to have an innie or an outie belly button?” Weird question, but whatever. So I tell him I don’t mind either way, both are cute. And then he says “Yeah, but when the Dr asks, which should we pick for her?”

He thought when they clamp the umbilical cord, parents tell the Dr the type of belly button they prefer. He’s really smart, I promise.

NoThankYouTrebek

5.

When my wife and I started dating in the mid 1980’s she knew I was a huge fan of David Letterman. She said she had a huge surprise for me as she had tickets to see Letterman at a local venue.

I was confused since David Letterman did not tour. I looked at the tickets she purchased and they were for the old 60’s band “The Lettermen.”

DetroitBreakdown

6.

One time my husband called me at work, “Babe, you’re gonna be mad, I made a mess but don’t worry I’ll fix it!” I didn’t even ask, just sighed, because he is basically Lucy from I Love Lucy. When I got home a little bit later it was to a living room COVERED in gray powder, my husband completely filthy with a trash bag and broom and a super panicked look on his face. Turned out he’d decided to help around the house and wanted to clean the fireplace, he’d just decided the best way to do it would be to stand in front of it with a trash bag and use the leaf blower to blow the ashes in.

awash907

7.

My boyfriend as we were looking up at the beautiful night sky.

“Wow, there’s so much we don’t know about the universe. Like where the stars go during the day. Are they still there? If not, where do they go?”

He was dead serious.

tinbasher97

8.

My favorite memory of my parents is going to some fast food joint, through the drive thru. Mom is driving and giving our orders to the cashier. Just as she finishes my dad casually says “To go” my mom, and she turns back to the cashier and says “To go.” Two seconds of buffering later and she slaps my dad full on in the chest, who is laughing fucking hysterically. Dont think we’ve ever let her live that down.

ZeBootygoon

9.

I showed her how to crack an egg by tapping it against another egg and she thought this meant any amount of force would be absorbed by only one egg and smashed two eggs together spraying yolk everywhere.

chunkyhenrybakes

10.

My girlfriend in college attended my graduation and afterward says to me, “Man, there were a lot of people with the name ‘lawdy’.”

Each time someone was given their degree, it was announced whether they were graduating “cum laude” or not. My girlfriend thought America’s largest family graduated from university with me that day – the Lawdy family (and they all looked unrelated.)

boobooskadoodoo

11.

My husband and I were at Canadian Tire and they had tiny examples of tents (basically looked like they were made for barbie dolls) and the pricing for each underneath. He turned to me shocked and asked, “why are these so expensive for such tiny tents?!”.

Zombombaby

12.

As we were driving along the road we saw a horse with its head over a gate. We slowed down, she opens the window and says “Mooooooo.”

StingerMcGee

13.

I love my husband but I have watched him empty a vacuum cleaner bag into a wire wastebasket.

I, on the other hand, am frequently unable to remember common words and have to resort to saying things like “The box you put stuff in to make it cold.”

AugustaScarlett

14.

My boyfriend thought that a sushi roll was a cross section of a raw eel.

emilynicole121

15.

She ate cold turkey to try and quit smoking.

Notangryactuallycalm

16.

Tried to make baked potatoes in the microwave for the first time. Wrapped them in tinfoil. Came to ask me why there were lightning bolts in the microwave and why was it getting very hot.

john_wb

17.

We were driving one day and were stopped at a red light. She’s looking at a sign and the following exchange occurs:

Her: “What a dumb name for a street!”

Me: “Huh? What street?”

Her: “Bone Marrow Drive? Who would name a street Bone Marrow Drive?”

It was a sign for a local bone marrow drive that would be taking place, not the name of the street. We still talk about it to this day.

TheRedGiant77

18.

Now ex girlfriend from high school. Her power had gone out in the neighboring town. She called crying saying she had so much homework to complete. I said to drive to my house since I still had power. She yelled at me saying “how dare you attempt to get me to drive! How do you expect me to do that… my headlights won’t work!”

jlancaster26

19.

nothing too dumb. I have a fan with different settings labelled L M H for how fast the fan spins.

She was looking at it and told me she set the fan to ‘Large.’

hafuhafu

20.

He is super grossed out my periods, when I asked him what he would do if we had a daughter he replied “I just won’t change her diaper that time of the month.”

casserolecasshole

21.

A now ex but we were trying to dirty talk and couldn’t think of the word “clit” so instead he said “tiddly bit” I was laughing so much that we couldn’t continue.

superfluck

22.

In high school, my girlfriend said, “Do you know what I just realized? There’s no state that starts with the letter F!”

We went to school in Florida.

warm_sock

23.

On the phone trying to describe where we are to her parents:

“We are behind the car that’s in front of us.”

I lost it.

Envision06

24.

Wife was getting in the car to take me to work

Started shouting at me to hurry up then it dawned on her she had got in the passenger side by mistake.

buddamus

25.

“The hardest part of writing a check is you have to write in cursive.”

G3r3nt

26.

I work at a school and received a candle as a gift one year for christmas from a parent. They were known to be hippies and set in their lifestyle. My boyfriend picked it up and said “wow, what hipsters, they even got a candle made in Mexico. It says soy candle!!” The candle was made from soy wax, it did not say “I am candle” in Spanish, much to his disappointment and my delight.

whoisgalgadot

27.

My fiancee was setting up for my 30th birthday at a bar. She was blowing up balloons with her mouth and taping them to the wall on the outside deck the bar had. She asked me, “why aren’t they floating up?”

owneroftheworld

28.

For some reason, when she’s done watching a video she doesn’t pause it or close out of the window; she just shuts her laptop. This has twice resulted in her scandalizing a quiet lecture hall with the sound of porn resuming at full volume.

And she gets off on some wacky shit.

joyyfulsub

29.

My husband called me one day with a wild story. He said he sharted and wanted to see if there was poop on his ass so he stood on the toilet and spread his ass cheeks while looking in the mirror to see the damage. Then, from him standing on the toilet seat he broke it. He fell to the floor and said he saw pubes and started puking. After all that I asked him why he didn’t just wipe his ass like a normal person but he insisted he had to look at his butthole.

AvsMama

h/t: Reddit.

People Are Sharing Their Permanent Scars From Being ‘Poked With A Pencil’ Because We Were All Strange Children

Remember when you were younger and your friends would f**k with you and stab you with a pencil? Don’t act like I’m weird for asking that question because everyone had that one friend who would do weird sh*t like that. As it turns out, we were all strange AF when we were younger, because more people than you think have led stuck in their bodies from years ago—when our friends stabbed us with pencils. How do we know?

Recently, a Twitter user asked people to share photos of them with led from pencils stuck inside their bodies. How did they get there? Only one way.

https://twitter.com/Los_Writer/status/1082390933713240065

Before he knew it, people were sending photos of all sorts of body parts to show that we may have grown up in different places, but truly, we’re all the same kind of idiot.

https://twitter.com/toaste_oven/status/1082526110695473152

https://twitter.com/HepolaSamuel/status/1082712886429040645

https://twitter.com/angellllinnaaa/status/1082683266203897856

https://twitter.com/madison_limpus/status/1082686038173208577

https://twitter.com/ppicolotti/status/1083159829278048258

https://twitter.com/makenseylayne/status/1082556281012015105

https://twitter.com/thatxgirlxcass/status/1082708629395070977

https://twitter.com/MaggiePPeterson/status/1082729385160044545

https://twitter.com/alexcooops/status/1082939554443681792

https://twitter.com/xoxo_ful/status/1083174734513299456

https://twitter.com/trentpawling10/status/1082680610957783040

https://twitter.com/eIhokage/status/1082705195212201985

So, there you have it folks—we’re all sociopaths.

Husband Thought It Was A Great Idea To Send His Wife Spreadsheet Of Her Excuses Not To Have Sex

This husband might just be the bravest, stupidest person in the whole wide world. While there are plenty of sagging relationships in need of a sensual resurgence, perhaps it’s not the best idea to send your wife an Excel spreadsheet of you cataloging every single spurned sexual advance made by you over seven weeks.

The wife  in question described the entire situation on the r/relationships subreddit:

Yesterday morning, while in a taxi on the way to the airport, Husband sends a message to my work email which is connected to my phone. He’s never done this, we always communicate in person or by text. I open it up, and it’s a sarcastic diatribe basically saying he won’t miss me for the 10 days I’m gone. Attached is a SPREADSHEET of all the times he has tried to initiate sex since June 1st, with a column for my “excuses”, using verbatim quotes of why I didn’t feel like having sex at that very moment. According to his ‘document’, we’ve only had sex 3 times in the last 7 weeks, out of 27 “attempts” on his part.

And for those pining to get a look at this guy’s Excel madness, she provided a glimpse at the spreadsheet.

 

With a success rate of about 10%, it’s clear that this guy is pretty demoralized by his marriage’s dearth of hanky pank. That being said, using the organizational prowess of Microsoft Office probably isn’t the way to light that fire in her loins, pal.

While the couple are young (both 26), they sound like a sitcom duo from the 60’s, with her cooking, cleaning, and generally taking care of things around the house while he does little to help. (Hot Tip: doing the laundry from time to time is the hottest thing you can do for your wife.) She goes on to explain her side of the story:

This is a side of him I have never seen before – bitter, immature, full of hatred. In person, he’d been acting normal the whole time, maybe a little standoff-ish in the last week. Completely out of left field. Our sex life HAS tapered in the last few months, but isn’t that allowed? We are adults leading busy, stressful lives. I cook for him, I do his laundry, I keep our house clean and tidy. It’s not like our sex life was going to be this way FOREVER, it was a temporary slow-down due to extenuating circumstances.

She went on to explain that she tried calling him but to no response. It seemed like he had cut off contact completely, again, a really dumb move on his part.

Users of the subreddit immediately jumped in to take sides.

 

 

Here’s to hoping she claps back with a passive-aggressive “per your email” response, though that might not be what’s best for the relationship. And fellas, take this guy’s misfortune as a deeply-engrained lesson: don’t send your wife spreadsheets.

More sex memes and funny texts:

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