27-Year-Old Nutritionist Leaves Heartbreaking Final Letter Before Hanging Herself

Depression and mental illness can take over just about anyone when it’s severe enough. No matter how many people look as though they’re doing well on the outside, you never truly know what’s going on inside someone else’s mind—especially when they’re suffering from depression and other mental health disorders. Recently, a 27-year-old blogger and nutritionist committed suicide and left behind a touching, heartfelt note on her website.

Tara Condell of San Francisco shared a letter on her website saying goodbye to her friends, family, and to all of her hobbies she will miss. The foodie had traveled the world for quite some time—as she claims, on other’s dimes—and experienced all wonderful things. However, her illness did take her, like many others who also suffer from mental disorders.

In her letter titled: I Hate The Word “Bye”, But See You Later Maybe? she wrote:

I have written this note several times in my head for over a decade, and this one finally feels right. No edits, no overthinking. I have accepted hope is nothing more than delayed disappointment, and I am just plain old-fashioned tired of feeling tired.

I realize I am undeserving of thinking this way because I truly have a great life on paper. I’m fortunate to eat meals most only imagine. I often travel freely without restriction. I live alone in the second greatest American city (San Francisco, you’ll always have my heart). However, all these facets seem trivial to me. It’s the ultimate first world problem, I get it. I often felt detached while in a room full of my favorite people; I also felt absolutely nothing during what should have been the happiest and darkest times in my life. No single conversation or situation has led me to make this decision, so at what point do you metaphorically pull the trigger?

I’m going to miss doing NYT crosswords (I was getting really good). That one charcuterie board with taleggio AND ‘nduja. Anything Sichuan ma la, but that goes without saying. A perfect plate of carbonara (no cream!). Real true authentic street tacos. Cal-Italian cuisine. Hunan Bistro’s fried rice. The pork belly and grape mini from State Bird Provisions circa 2013. Popeye’s of course. Bambas too.

I’m also going to miss unexpected hugs. Al Green’s Simply Beautiful. Cherries in July. Tracing a sleeping eyebrow. Smoking cigarettes. The Golden Gate Bridge at sunset. That first sip of iced cold brew in sticky August. Making eye contact with people walking down the street. When songs feel like they’re speaking to your soul. Jeopardy. Saying I love you. Late night junk food binges. Shooting the shit. And especially the no-destination-in-sight long walks.

No GoFundMes, no funeral, no tributes, no doing-too-much please. All I ask now is for you to have one delicious (I mean a really really great) meal in my honor and let me go, no exceptions.

It’s selfishly time for me to be happy and I know you can get down with that. Please try to remember me as a whole human you shared memories with and not just my final act. This is not your fault. It’s not exactly easy for me either, I’m here for you. I love you. I always have and I always will, I promise. Shikata ga’nai.

I’m coming home, Dad. Make some room up on that cloud and turn the Motown up.

I’m really sorry mama.

Tara was found dead by police, with a strap around her neck, having hung herself. Our heartfelt condolences to Tara’s friends and family during this difficult time.

If you or someone you know is having suicidal thoughts, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.

Why I Refuse To Watch Or Promote ’13 Reasons Why’

Recently, Netflix produced, aired, and renewed an original series called 13 Reasons Why based on a novel “Thirteen Reasons Why” by Jay Asher. The book and show both focus around a high school student named Hannah Baker, a suicidal teenager in high school who experienced immense bullying and torment while trying to live in a society that perpetuates such acts. The show revolves around Hannah’s decision to end her life and a boy she liked, Clay, and their dual narratives on her life and the life that continued after her death.

While the show had a dark, haunting message and plot-line, when Netflix debuted the series, it had a much larger and rapid “cult-like” following than that of the novel. The novel was one I had read in my youth, but one that most teens had strayed away from due to its dark message. Much like “Go Ask Alice,” and books of that nature, many students in my classes strayed away from dark novels and decided to read something more “light-hearted.”

Now that there is a TV series putting the novel’s narrative in the real, 3D world—it has taken off in ways the book never could. And, although Netflix is monetizing on the series immensely, it is one that I refuse to watch nor promote, although I was a fan of the novel it is based on.

Many people who watch the series are that of Hannah Baker – young, Millennials that may have struggled in ways Hannah has struggled herself. The intended audience for the show in the series’ promotion were those who could relate to Hannah Baker, who had felt the same torment and pain she had felt in the show.

While many shows that target youth and discuss suicide and mental health awareness can be dark and dangerous to produce, it so happens that the majority of them attempt to give a message of optimism and hope—or, try to give a storyline of help. 13 Reasons Why, in my eyes, fails to do so.

From studies by lead adolescent psychologists I have read over the last several weeks, after the series took off, calls into suicide hotlines had increased by a large percent. As well, teenagers who had experienced bullying and other tormenting behaviors from peers were now writing on blogs and chat lines on the Internet about “following in the steps of Hannah Baker,” and “leaving letters behind to those who had wronged them.”

According to the U.S. Center for Disease Control and Prevention, suicide is the third highest cause of death for those aged 15-24. Lead adolescent psychologists have authored dozens of studies on the effects of media on teenagers and have discovered that teenage suicide is contagious. According to Dr. Harold S. Koplewicz:

“Teenage suicide is contagious. We know for over three decades that when kids watch television where they depict a suicide, they’re more likely to attempt and they’re more likely to actually (kill themselves).”

While Netflix argues that the show “opens the dialogue on suicide and depression amongst youth,” and can “push people to be kind and show empathy and support,” several scenes within the show, according to researchers, promote the opposite. Instead, the show promotes the idea that Hannah’s peers looked at her suicide as a cry for attention rather than an illness and an alarming call for help. In turn, her suicide in the show is painted as a way to “get revenge” on those who have wronged her and for them to realize they had been cruel by her tragic death.

The show, in the end, glamorizes suicide in a way that is a huge trigger towards youth who are depressed and suicidal. Many teens who experience these mental health issues feel alone and discouraged – needing support and help. What they received from this show was a huge push to do the wrong thing.

The reason I can’t come to support this show isn’t just because of the glorification of suicide, but a bigger issue amongst society as a whole. With the Internet and media becoming so invasive into people’s lives, we’ve become desensitized to important and major issues amongst individuals.

Suicide, which is something that should never be made into a joke, has become something that people laugh about – for example, when Aaron Hernandez recently committed suicide in prison, it was only hours before I saw memes appear on the Internet about dropping him in fantasy football drafts.

The more often these kinds of TV shows, series and content appear within society, the further we become desensitized towards human beings.

This ‘Bird Box’ Theory About Mental Health Actually Makes A Lot Of Sense

Unless you’re living under a rock, I’m sure you’ve heard about the latest movie to sweep social media, creating a new world of memes, jokes, and theories—Bird Box. The Netflix original film starring Sandra Bullock is about a monster that no one can “see,” because if they see it, they die. The film, therefore, has many people living their lives blindfolded to avoid the monster. Bullock and her children go on a journey to find safety, taking the entire trip blindfolded. Many people online have begun obsessing over the thriller and even trying to do the Bird Box challenge, where they complete tasks blindfolded.

But, while many have been fangirling over the movie, some may have missed the bigger picture and deeper message. According to one Twitter thread, that makes a lot of sense, the film has a huge underlying message about mental health and mental illnesses. Twitter user @alisonpool_ shared the theory online and since posting, it has gone viral across the network.

She claims that the monster in the film represents a personified version of “mental illness,” stating the monster makes you “hear voices” and commit suicide.

She also points out that the characters interact with many different symptoms of mental illnesses.

She pointed out that the point of having individuals blindfolded is to prove that mental illnesses have no “face” and can affect anybody.

She also shared specific scenes that prove the theory true.

Many people on Twitter agreed that the theory seemed super on point and that it was woke AF.

https://twitter.com/nikkihanahh/status/1082853212691025920

https://twitter.com/Kaiiuno/status/1082757797194989569

https://twitter.com/Vincent_half/status/1082854383329656835

https://twitter.com/Carlos_diaz05/status/1083215451503710210

 

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