Closure

I used to be the girl who couldn’t make a decision for her life. I’d refuse to break up with guys even when I wasn’t feeling it anymore, always giving them just enough attention to keep them interested, I avoided difficult conversations at all costs and lashed out in anger when I didn’t know how to say goodbye.

I clung for dear life to people, habits, and identities because it made me feel safe like everything would be okay if I had them.

Goodbye

 

Until it hit me that sometimes, no matter how hard we try, we don’t get our fairytale goodbye. Sometimes the page is torn out before we’re ready and the jagged edges leave track marks on our heart and sometimes life closes a door for us.

Memories

Someone dies, an ex gets engaged, a window of opportunity is slammed shut and we are left with a choice; am I going to bang on the door and demand all my unrealized expectations be met, or can I gather my memories and walk away?

Freedom

What I’ve learned is closure is cathartic, it’s liberating, but damn it is illusive. I hear it all the time, “I can’t stop talking to him, I haven’t had closure.” “I can’t seem to let go, something is holding me back.” “I’m scared if I close this door, nothing better will come along.”

Thoughts

Thoughts like these weigh us down, anchoring us to this negativity that restricts us from our full potential. Now I kinda get off on putting things to bed; closing the lid, wrapping a big bow around it and putting it away for good.