You were one of the greatest things that ever happened to me. Life was a lot simpler when we were together. We both wanted different things at that point, so we decided to go our separate ways.
To this day, I still believe you’re the one and here’s why:
1. You made me laugh like no other man before him.
2. You could turn the worst situation into a bearable one.
I know that we all have certain ideas in our head about what it means to fall in love. We the kind of the love that we pictured since we were kids, that we thought about and then over thought about. But the thing is when we meet the right person, or at least the one we think is the right one, we don’t really have a choice.
We’re in it no matter what our head tells us, no matter how unrealistic or silly it might seem to everyone else. We are just so sure. And that’s who you were to me.
You knew just what to say to make me believe you.
You knew just what I wanted to hear, all the things that I was scared of you, you made me forget all of that. Because of you, I finally opened up. I finally let all my walls come falling down. It wasn’t for myself. It was for you. Because I thought, just this once, that I got it right. That I wasn’t making it all up.
You had my heart, and for a really long time, I thought that it was safe with you.
It didn’t end all at once. It was a slow letdown. I kept holding on. For whatever reason made the most sense at the time. I was sure that if I just stuck it out, you could see that I was the one for you. That my heart and your heart were the same.
There comes a time in everyone’s life when they fall in love with someone they feel like they can spend the rest of their lives with. While we go from relationship to relationship in life, experiencing the blissful beauty of falling in love, there comes a particular moment in your life when you fall in love with someone you truly consider to be “the one.”
You start to build a life with this person, planning things, including them in your everyday life and decisions, building a future with them, fantasizing about your life together—it all seems like everything is amazing, perfect, wonderful.
But, there are often times in life that the person you want to be “the one,” doesn’t exactly feel the same way about you. Now, this is not to say that they aren’t in love with you, or, that they don’t want to be with you. But, there are often times when you’re sure about someone, but, they’re not sure about you.
And, when you realize this, it feels like you got hit in the chest by an 18-wheeler.
Heartache.
What do you really do when you fall in love with someone and want them to be your “happily ever after,” but, they aren’t even sure of what they want in life? What if they decide they never want to get married, have children, start a family—what do you really do?
The decisions that you have to make as you get older and fall in love are terrifying. Sometimes, you have to make sacrifices and compromise, but, you should never sacrifice your happiness just to be with someone and live in their own comfort zone.
You may love this person – you may love them with every single inch of your being, but, if they cannot give you exactly what you need, you can start over, you can find someone else. Or, you can take a break from dating and reassess your needs and desires.
If you’re someone who needs a definitive timeline and answers, but your “person” can’t give you them, take a step back and think things through. Maybe, this person just cannot give you what you need and, if that’s the case, you need to face those facts. Maybe, after hearing this person doesn’t want those milestones, you decide maybe you don’t either and, you’d rather be with this person than be “married.” Maybe, you’re okay with waiting to see how things unfold. But, maybe, you don’t want to push aside your own needs to please someone else.
Whatever happens—whatever you do decide—remember that the most important person to listen to is yourself. Face the hard truths, the painful realities, and the heartbreaking decisions if you have to – because, staying with someone who cannot fulfill you will always leave you empty.
When it comes to love, it seems as though everyone is on the same quest— to find the person we can tolerate for the rest of our lives. I mean, what’s the point of being with someone long term if you can’t see yourself annoying them forever, anyway?
It’s almost impossible to escape the desire to find our better half—rom-coms are flooding our television screens, adorable couples are taking over our Instagram feeds and most of our friends are getting engaged or married all over Facebook. No wonder we’re feeling more alone than ever with our Ben & Jerry’s pints and Netflix accounts.
When you find yourself in a relationship with someone, in the beginning, it seems as though everything is pure bliss and happiness—you’re on cloud nine and nothing can stop you. You have butterflies, you get nervous, you blush. But, when you find the right person, sometimes, it’s not like this at all. In fact, sometimes it’s the opposite.
1. You’ll feel at ease.
I’m a firm believer that when you’re with the right person, they won’t make you feel nervous, anxious and uncertain. In fact, they’ll make you feel at ease. You won’t have anxiety about whether or not you’re making the right decision, because you’ll know in your heart you are.
2. The fights are about things that actually matter.
When you’re in a relationship with someone who means something, the little things aren’t such a big deal. Long gone are the fights over liking another girls’ picture on social media and “why didn’t you answer my text!?!”
When you do have arguments – and trust me you will – they’re going to be about things that actually matter to both of you. They will be things you will grow to compromise on and understand. They will be things that have depth and meaning.
3. You both look at your relationship as a partnership.
There is never a time where you feel better than your SO. Instead, you both feel that when you’re doing well, it only strengthens your relationship—not your individual position in life.
When you make big decisions, you know that they’re the person to confide in. When you have to make choices, they’re always the one on the forefront of your mind.
4. Trust, trust, trust.
If you’re still in a relationship where you feel uncomfortable when your partner wants to go out without you—you are not mature enough to be in a relationship.
You and your SO are adults and individuals—you may both love each other, of course – but your worlds should not only revolve around each other. With that being said, if they decide to go out for some drinks without you, have a “girls” or “guys” night, you should be able to trust them.
5. You don’t always have to be doing something incredible to enjoy your time together.
Not every single day you spend with your SO is going to be jam-packed with lavish dinners, adventurous trips outstanding surprises. Some of the best times you spend with your person is going to be the times where you lounge around and do nothing together.
6. You’re comfortable with where you are in life, even if you’re not where everyone else is.
Every love has its own timeline. Some love moves faster than others, some love moves at a snails pace – both of these things are completely normal because it is dependent on your individual relationship.
Just because all of your other friends in relationships are engaged, doesn’t mean you both want or need to be engaged. In fact, sometimes, you enjoy being that odd couple out.
7. You can feel yourself changing and you’re okay with it.
If someone tells you that you should never change for another person – f*ck them. Everyone makes changes when they’re in a long-term relationship and if anyone tells you otherwise, they’re lying.
Sometimes, we have to mature in order to maintain the rhythm of our relationship. When you change, you grow.
Just because all of your other friends in relationships are engaged, doesn’t mean you both want or need to be engaged. In fact, sometimes, you enjoy being that odd couple out.
8. You both have your own friends, but your friends love them too.
It’s important to have your own people outside of your relationship. While when you’re in love, you want to spend a lot of time together – it’s healthy to get a break. You should have friends outside of your relationship that you can rely on the same way you rely on your partner. It’s important to have that kind of support and not put insane amounts of pressure on your relationship.
But, those friends love your partner just as much as you do. If they don’t, it’s a red flag you should address. When you’re with a good person, who cares, who is right for you – your friends will know.
9. The sex doesn’t fade out.
When you start to date someone in the very beginning, the sex will be constant. You’re both in the “honeymoon” stage and want to rip each other’s clothes off as much as possible. But, no matter what happens, that feeling tends to slip.
Although you may not rip each other’s clothes off every day, you two are still sexually active and compatible. You should never be going weeks without sex – that’s an issue. Sex isn’t everything in a relationship, but it’s definitely important.
Just because all of your other friends in relationships are engaged, doesn’t mean you both want or need to be engaged. In fact, sometimes, you enjoy being that odd couple out.
10. You’re not embarrassed, you’re not ashamed – your imperfections are okay.
No one is 100% happy with themselves all of the time. In fact, there are days where we will just hate everything about ourselves. When you’re with the right person, you won’t feel pressure to always be “on point.” You’re okay with the skin you’re in, you’re comfortable with having your own flaws.
The person you’re with will never question your worth when you’re feeling down.
Just because all of your other friends in relationships are engaged, doesn’t mean you both want or need to be engaged. In fact, sometimes, you enjoy being that odd couple out.
11. You can see your life with the person and you don’t want to run.
When you have to think about growing up, it can be terrifying. No one wants to get old, no one wants to lose their youth, no one wants to be an “adult, adult.” But, when you think about settling down and actually starting a life with someone, you know without a doubt, this person is the one it’ll be with.
It doesn’t have to happen overnight—hell, it may take 10 more years of dating before you’re both ready—but, you know that when you are ready, there’s no doubt in your mind it is with them.
“When you find true love, home is no longer a place. It’s the person you love. And wherever they are, you are home.”
When you least expect it, you’re going to find yourself in front of the person that will not only take your breath away in that split second, but that will also feel like home. It’ll be an encounter you might not be prepared for but it’ll immediately feel like it was destined, everything about it will feel right and you’ll know in your heart that it’s meant to last.
You’ll feel that your soul gravitates towards him and you’ll feel the need to be around him and explore everything about him. And he’ll feel the same way about you.
Something about him will lure you in but in a good way.
You’ll just know he’s the one capable of breaking all the walls that you’ve meticulously built around your heart. And you won’t hesitate to embrace the way he makes your heart skip a beat.
He’s the one that’ll be able to see right through you and will accept every inch of you. Because he has the ability to see beauty in your flaws and embrace your imperfections. He appreciates every part of you because for him all of you is what he wants and needs, nothing less and nothing more.
The connection that you share will be so strong, you won’t have to really understand it to know that your bond is unbreakable.
You’ll just be overflowed with the joy this person has brought into your life.
You’ll both share the same feeling, so you’ll want to share each other’s world. You’ll want to be an open book and talk about your fears and dreams. Because you know you’ll never be judged for any of it. You can be as raw and real with this person because what they give back are compassion and understanding. And you’ll surrender to his love and acceptance.
Everything about this feeling will be proof that he’s the one. So you’ll look at him and embrace him with the same acceptance. Because in your eyes he’s beautifully imperfect.
You’re each other’s soulmates because every second you spend together feels like an eternity.
Being apart would be a terrible mistake, he feels right, he feels like home and you couldn’t see it any other way.
He becomes a part of you, so everything they feel and go through feels like it’s happening to you too.
You become one and you can imagine your life without him.
You realize they’ve become your reason to be, your reason to breath.
Because you’ve finally found each other, you’re home for each other and you’ve promised to grow through what you go through in life together, forever.
One day soon, you’ll find someone like this, so when you do, embrace it, be grateful and enjoy experiencing love fully.
“Don’t think. It complicates things. Just feel and if it feels like home then follow its path.”
