The holidays are a joyous time filled with happiness, cheer…and devious pranks played on loved ones. At least, that’s how the Christmas season goes at the home of one Judy Brown who is known for her meticulously planned practical jokes.
This year, she has truly outdone herself by luring her unsuspecting father into a trap of culinary deceit. Needless to say, it’s a Christmas her family won’t be forgetting anytime soon.
This is Judy Brown AKA @mcjude on Twitter. Though she may appear harmless, Brown is actually a devious prankster.
if u use your female friends as dumping grounds for all ur emotional issues u need a therapist. if youre an adult who cant maintain a genuine friendship longer than a few months u need a therapist. if u refer to gatorades by their flavor instead of their color u need a therapist
— xoxo shmossip girl (@no_talent_shan) June 27, 2018
42.
getting pedicures is such a struggle when you’re a ticklish ass bitch
18th birthday: cant wait to be 21
19th birthday: cant wait to be 21
20th birthday: cant wait to be 21
21st birthday: YEET
22nd birthday: time is fleeting; my days left on this earth are numbered
If I can’t go to Planned Parenthood for a routine pap smear without being screamed at and harassed by Christian protestors then Stephen Miller shouldn’t be able to eat his fucking salad without being called an asshole.
Dog owners: this is my precious angel boy who I payed $3,000 for last November and I finally got to take him today he’s my everything and all
Cat owners: this is my trash gremlin she was stuck in the gutter across the street and I lured her out with shrimp on a string
Many of us dream about our wedding day from an early age. The dress, the cake, the unlucky bastard who will be smiling at us from down the aisle…
But the truth is, no one can really anticipate exactly what the big day will be like or how much we’ll actually be able to afford.
Unless, of course, you’re the daughter of the richest man in India and have the means to hire the one and only Beyoncé to perform at your pre-wedding party.
Over the weekend, while the rest of us were binge-watching Netflix or having one too many glasses of wine, Queen Bey performed at a private pre-wedding party in India.
Beyoncé shared her goddess-like pre-wedding attire in an IG post which garnered a casual 5.6 million likes. #Flawless
The pre-wedding party, which I can only assume is like a rehearsal dinner for rich people, was in honor of Isha Ambani, the daughter of India’s wealthiest man.
In case you were wondering, Isha’s dad (Mukesh Ambani) is a business magnate who is the largest shareholder of Reliance Industries Limited. His net worth is estimated at roughly $43.5 billion—yes, Billion with a B!
According to the Washington Post, Isha has degrees from Yale and Stanford and sits on the board of directors for India’s largest retailer and its largest 4G network.
And apparently being the daughter of India’s richest man means you can afford to hire Beyoncé.
In all of her glory.
Can you imagine? You roll up to this pre-wedding party and the queen herself struts on stage!?
Oh. My. God.
Unsurprisingly, the Twitterverse has a lot of questions.
First of all, how rich do you have to be to have BEYONCÉ perform at your wedding?!
You know your dad is rich when he can afford to hire Beyonce to sing at your PRE-wedding party. What do you do for the actual wedding — pay someone to resurrect John Lennon? https://t.co/lc1AbIFyjq
Look, not everyone is great at spelling. It’s not something we’re born knowing, we have to learn it. That’s the whole point of English class. You might never find yourself in a situation where you need to know the difference between imply and infer to make it through your life, but you will need to know how to spell.
Many times it’s not even the spelling, exactly, that’s the problem—it’s that people mishear words or morph them into other words. I had a roommate once who thought that idolizing someone was putting them on a “pedestool.” The correct word is, of course, pedestal, like the thing that statues are placed on for display in museums. But to my roommate, pedestool made sense because a stool is a thing people stand on.
What I’m saying is, we’re not here to judge or shame people who can’t spell. We’re just here to laugh at them.
Halloween might be over, but the notoriously outlandish designers at Fecal Matter—yes, Fecal Matter—have just rolled out arguably their most disturbing accessory to date. Anyone familiar with Fecal Matter’s work may think to themselves, “No how could they possibly get any more bizarre than shackled aliens or blood splattered trench coats?” By replicating human skin for a pair of boots, that’s how.
Montreal-based duo Hannah Rose Dalton and Steven Raj Bhaskaran are the creative minds behind Fecal Matter—a fashion line known for its unique visions of aliens on the streets.
Founded three years ago, Fecal Matter has made a name for themselves by shocking Instagram followers with their otherworldly creations.
One of their most extreme looks to date is a pair of digitally-altered boots that appear to be a freakish version of real human feet.
These rather contentious shoes were originally a trick of Photoshop which made them appear “petrified” into their en pointe form. Hello, nightmares.
According to Vogue, the debate over the actual existence of these fleshy heels is what inspired Dalton and Bhaskaran to create a real-life wearable pair.
“Everyone was like, ‘Is it Photoshopped? Is it not Photoshopped?’ We wanted to put it out in real life,” said Bhaskaran.
These nightmare-inducing creations are the product of artist Sarah Sitkin who specializes in painstakingly realistic prosthetics.
In addition to its elongated heal and demon-like tails, the silicon footwear also has moles, little hairs, and uneven skin tones to perfectly resemble Bhaskaran’s actual legs.
“We can get this alien look and present it and tweak it with Photoshop and make it look really realistic,” said Bhaskaran. “But at the same time, there is always this dysphoria in us. There is this urge inside of us to take what we do on the Internet and try to create that via real life. That is what we are doing with the shoes.”
Fecal Matter believes these shoes reflect what humans will eventually look like as a result of body modification and social media. *Drops iPhone into toilet*
But before you get your hopes up about snagging a pair of these thigh-high skin pumps, you might want to check out the $10,000 price tag.
Currently, Fecal Matter only has one pair of ‘Skin Heels’ priced at $10,000 which the duo debuted at their first-ever fashion show at the Mandrake in London. Of course, they plan to make more in the hopes that they can eventually be more accessible at a lesser price point.