True love is all the little things

True love is a lot of things, but the best way to put it is simple, it’s the little things. The little things you see add up to being bigger things. Coming from a girl who has only known toxic relationships, trust me when I say that when you go into a healthy one (relationship) after a handful of toxic ones it is the absolute weirdest feeling. It’s LITERALLY going from one extreme to the next.

It is true though, true love is seriously the little thing’s that mean the most.

True love is, making pancakes at midnight after doing the deed because y’all worked up an appetite, and chocolate chip pancakes sound heavenly. You are literally sitting on the counter in the kitchen looking at this man who is making you pancakes at midnight, he looks over at you and blows you a kiss while your hair is in the messiest bun and you are wearing nothing but booty shorts and his t-shirt (you know you are looking like a hot mess) but he thinks you look absolutely beautiful!

The little things like surprising her with tea when you hear her up in bed coughing because you know she has a cold and you just want to see her get better.

It may be just a small gesture but it truly does mean the world to her.

Planning a day that revolves around spending time together, surprising her with a coffee and taking her out for the two of you to get a Christmas tree together, planning a cute but simple lunch (literally surprising her with a sub), and playing her favorite board game with her because you love it when she gets so competitive. Then ending the day at your guy’s favorite brewery getting drinks.

I promise you, you have no idea how happy this will make her!

The tiniest thing is, going into a gas station and seeing a beautiful single rose and grabbing it because you know it’s her favorite flower and it reminds you of her. things like this make her heart flutter!

You know she’s a hopeless romantic

It’s little things like making her stay awake until midnight so she can open up the presents you got her on her birthday because you can’t wait for her to open it and you know she’s going to absolutely love what you got her!

It’s finding out she has had an absolutely terrible day and just wanting to turn it around and make her smile! So you go and pick up her favorite wine and make her favorite dinner and make her favorite snack for her because you know that never fails to make her smile! Take it from personal experience … She will cry!

Don’t worry though they are tears of joy!

Finally, true love is loving her even when you know the “baggage” she comes with, and you choose to stay and be with her through the good, the bad, and the ugly. It’s taking her in your arms in the middle of the night when she wakes up crying and worrying from the worst dream and letting her know she’s ok and reminding her it’s just a dream and that you love her with all of your heart!

She doesn’t want a grand gesture guys, I promise you it’s the little things you do that make a huge difference and impact on her.

 

You may not be her first, but you can make damn sure you are her last.

“You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before, she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She’s not perfect—you aren’t either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can…” – Bob Marley

Every girl falls into her own journey of discovering who she is. It’s not so much that she follows a unique path, it’s that she’s swept into it by life’s circumstances. A big part of that is love.

Some girls fall in love once, others twice, three times, or more.

Most of the time, she needs to meet more than one person to find out who it is that’s right for her. If you’re lucky, that might happen to be you. But before she could ever meet you, she had to walk through the darker tunnels of the past to finally meet you, the light at the end.

And if a girl’s truly right for you, you won’t put her down for having that past.

Yes, it might bother you to think of a time that it wasn’t your eyes, but someone else’s she was looking into. And, yes, it might madden you, even more, to think that she was treated with anything but the respect she deserves.

You might wish you could simply reach back and scoop her out of the past so that she wouldn’t have to endure any pain so that you could have her all to yourself.

And this isn’t because you’re selfish or controlling, it’s because you want to protect her from any past harm. But instead of taking that frustration out on her, transform it so that you can make her future brighter.

Don’t be the guy who wants to change her past; be the guy who wants to better her future.

Don’t be the guy who makes her feel bad for any mistakes; be the reason she never makes another one again.

Don’t be the guy who dismisses her for who she was; be the guy who appreciates her for who she is now.

Because the reason you fell in love with her, to begin with, wasn’t because she was plain and boring. She caught your eye because she was different from the rest, a force to be reckoned with. You fell for her because she didn’t fit the ordinary mold. And the more you try to make her fit yours, the further and further she’ll flee.

A girl can’t be contained.

In love and life, we become so worn down and jaded through heartbreak after heartbreak. We have a hard time believing in forever. But you, you have the power to help her go back to who she used to be when she believed in fairy tales. Prove to her that “Til death do us part” still stands strong. Show her that love can defy the physical limits of this world and transcend into something greater than that.

So don’t love her because you’re her first. Love her because you’re her last.

For more of Defne’s writing, follow her on Facebook.

The Right Kind Of Love

 

There are love songs about a love that is like no other.

This is a love that I have seen in my grandparents. It is a love that I had been searching for. They say this love comes at a time when you would least expect it. They are right. 

 

When I sat down next to you at the wedding reception I knew instantly that my life was changed for ever. Your energy was something that I had never been around before and I started to crave that. When we made our way to the dance floor and you held me in your arms for the first time the connection could have knocked me off my feet. You held me up right. There was something about this that I could not put my finger on, but when we parted ways at the end of the night I felt like I was leaving my safe place and that just didn’t feel right. 

 

My heart pounded as I texted you and asked if we could go to breakfast. I knew that I needed to see you again. There was this safe feeling that I felt with you, this was a safe feeling that I had never felt before. I was so afraid that you were not going to want to see me again. However, that was not the case. You replied instantly with a yes. I could feel the butterfly feelings. When you walked into the restaurant, I held my breath. This boy with his bright orange camo sweatshirt and cowboy boots stood right there and stole my heart, and he didn’t even know it yet. 

 

Loving A Survivor

Loving a Survivor

Surviving an assault is one of the hardest things to go through personally. However, I think loving a survivor is probably the second hardest part. There are a lot of moving parts in recovering, and it is a journey that is going to have a lot of ups and a lot of downs. It takes a strong person to help love someone through this journey. So this is a little appreciation post to those who love us through the journey of recovering. Those who love us from victim to survivor. 

 

You are understanding

This is a journey that has been one of me trying to figure out how to put the pieces back together. I know that sometimes it probably feels that my life is all consumed by this journey. It probably is. However, you never make me feel like I am wrong for putting myself first. You are always so supportive whether that means holding me when I want to fall apart, or just having a chill day doing something fun because I need to be out of my head. 

 

You Listen

Although I have never told you what exactly happened because I am just not there yet, you listen to me vent. I dance around the issue but that does not seem to bother you. You sit there and listen to my worries and troubles. After you give me a hug and you never make me feel like I am crazy. 

 

12 Things Every Girl Can Expect From Moving In With Her Boyfriend

Moving In Together

So you’re taking the next step in your relationship, and finally shacking up and moving in with your SO. You’ve been planning this for a while, you’ve dreamt about the days you’d be decorating a place together, and you figure that you’ve had enough sleepovers together over the years to know what you’re in for. You’re ready for constant cuddles, tons of home cooked meals together and coming home after a long day to your favorite person in the world. While all of these things are definitely things to look forward to, that’s not all you’re signing up for. After moving in with my boyfriend, we were faced with a few realities that sometimes make us laugh, and sometimes push us to our absolute limits.

 

1. You’re going to have to start hiding your favorite snacks.

Remember those days when your older brother would eat all your leftovers and that bag of Goldfish that you bought yesterday is suddenly missing? Living with your boyfriend is pretty much the same thing. Long gone are the days of rationing your faves to last for days and days. Long gone are the days of ever having enough ice-cream. Let the game of hide-and-seek with your favorite foods begin!

An Open Letter To My Boyfriend In Heaven

I’ll never forget that exact moment where my life changed forever.

November 4, 2015 is the date I lost the love of my life and among others lost their best friend. Your Mother and Father lost their baby and your siblings lost their loved brother. It didn’t feel real at all. It felt like a complete dream, and to this exact day It still does. You left too soon and had the whole world ahead of you with goals and dreams to accomplish. You talked about a Promise Ring days before you passed, also having a family together and how we were only bound to be the chillest parents.

 

Our future together was bright with a family, dream jobs, and we couldn’t wait to finally get started by getting our own place together and to build and grow from there.

A big part of me was angry at God for taking you. It didn’t make sense as to why he took away such an amazing man that impacted everyone and was so loved. You are truly special and Heaven gained the best Angel there is. As each day passes, the pain still hurts. People say time heals, but It hasn’t.

This Is The Way A Strong Woman Loves

Strong Woman

 

A strong woman loves like a gentle rain swirling into a hurricane. Her love is cautious as she fights to maintain her independence; reserved as she convinces herself that she doesn’t need a man in her life. But slowly and steadily, she lets herself fall into him, washing away her inhibitions, loving him fiercely.

 

A strong woman loves with steadfast reserve turned to unquellable passion. She wades into his life unafraid that he will break her but constantly wondering if she should embrace her ability to feel. His love for her strikes her in the center of her hardened heart, and she rapidly melts under its weight. As she plummets, courageously aware that there is nothing to cushion the pain, her strength manifests in her powerful, steady feelings for him.

What It Actually Means to Have an Honest Kind of Love

I don’t even know what’s real anymore. I just crave something deeper than what I’m surrounded with and I guess I just can’t figure out why other people don’t as well.

 

All these artificial relationships around me make me sick. The girls that gossip about each other but can always be found going out as a group on a Friday night.

 

The boys that tell their girls that they love them but can always be found hooking up with a different one behind her back every week.

 

It’s all slowing tearing me apart.

 

All this superficial love shit is crazy.

 

7 Ways To Tell You’ve Finally Found That ‘Forever’ Kind Of Love

When we fall in love with someone, we always want them to be the “end all, be all” of our life. We don’t want to think about every playing the field again, we never want to think about the “dating scene” again–we just want this to be the “forever” kind of love. How do you know, though? How are you able to realize that the person you are with is the person you should be with forever? It’s hard to say. Everyone’s life is incredibly different (in many ways), but there are some universal feelings, lessons, and realizations that you can have while falling in love that makes you stop and realize–”wow, I can truly see myself spending the rest of my life with this person.”

 

1. You completely trust them, with no strings attached.

When you fall in love with someone, you’re allowing yourself to be vulnerable and open to someone. We’re allowing ourselves to risk being hurt, heartbroken, and devastated if things don’t go as planned. We’re essentially putting our emotional wellbeing and souls into another person’s hands. That’s truly an action that requires the utmost trust and value. If you’re unsure whether or not you can trust your partner, there’s no reason to even picture a future together. You should feel comfortable and at ease when it comes to your life together.

You should never wonder what they’re doing when they’re out if they’re talking to someone else, if they’re texting someone they shouldn’t be. If you ever feel the inclination you should go through their phone, texts, emails, social media–you’re not with the person you deserve to be with. The person you are meant to be with will never, ever give you a reason not to trust them. They will always be honest with you, open with you, and give you every single solitary reason to trust them. If you are uneasy about your love now, think about feeling this way as you get older–with kids involved. You should never live your life on the edge with someone.

 

The Truth Is, Your Heart’s Strong Enough to Restore Your Faith in Love

I know you feel broken right now, and unlovable. But, you need to give it time. What the future holds is so much better than the past.

 

One day someone is going to walk into your life that you don’t just want to spend the night with, you want to wake up next to each and every day. You will want to share your morning with them. Tell them about your day.

 

He will know your fake smile because he will be falling in love with your real smile. When you say you are okay, he will know you are lying because he will care about more than anyone ever has. He will see past the front you are trying to put up and break down all your walls.

 

The connection between you two will be unexplainable, but you will be grateful he walked into your life. Unlike the last, he will let you into his world too. Wanting to experience life and love with you. You guys will talk about you dreams and ambitions, not just sex and small talk. You will finally be able to open up about your past and all your insecurities because he won’t judge you for them.

 

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