At the age of 20, I had a personal milestone that no one would dare talk about: I bought my first vibrator.
I did some research online, looking for something relatively affordable but still small and discreet. I needed something quiet and rechargeable, especially since I was living at college in the dorms at the time.
After enough research, I decided on a little one from OhMiBod and placed the order with my dorm address as the shipping address, feeling honestly a bit nervous but excited and very adult.
About a week later, the package arrived in a discreet, simple, very private brown box. It was nice to see that not even the shop name was on the box, so no one could tell what I was carrying as I brought it back to my room.
I brought the box back to my room and cut into it. Out of that box came a very pretty but durable gift box. If this box was left out on a desk or bedside table, no one would think twice about it. It was actually really pretty and had no need to be hidden.
Inside of the box, I found a chord, a little silk baggie, and the small, smooth vibrator. It felt good in my fingers, smooth and even a tad soft. There was a little part that stuck out and was almost like a little heart.
After discreetly cleaning it off and recharging it with the chord (conveniently a USB), I was ready to get down and dirty with myself. I got all set up, excitement and anticipation growing over the new world I was crossing into. I even put some music on, thinking I was so smart to mask the vibrations and sounds.
Then I quickly realized I had no idea what I was doing. I would press a button, and the intensity would increase, but then the other button affected the rhythm of vibrations. On top of that, my clit was not used to that level of intensity, so it was exciting but not even that pleasurable.
Confused, I pulled the little vibrating thing in my hand up and looked it over. It was simple, it was a clit vibrator, it wasn’t supposed to be rocket science. So, I just pressed a button to figure out what it did.
Once I got that down, I figured out how was best to actually hold it. You can’t just stick something down there and expect it to be euphoria (despite what some guys expect, I know). You actually have to figure out what the hell to do with it.
So, I knew what the buttons did, how to adjust the settings, and how to best position myself. It wasn’t a glamorous process, but the learning curve wasn’t bad.
Well, the learning curve wasn’t bad: expect for my clit. My clit had quite a learning curve. Because even the lowest, simplest setting was still quite intense for it, everything was just overwhelming for the first at least five uses. I’m not even sure I orgasmed, though each time I grew more accustomed to the sensation.
Then, after more uses, I learned how to move it around, how to adjust settings right in the middle without missing a beat, how to move my body to match the vibrations. After a while, I had it down, and it was so much better than just my own little hand.
But that first time, that wasn’t pretty. It was awkward, it was uncomfortable, it was confusing, and it was even embarrassing – and I was the only one there.
So, don’t worry about if it’s confusing, intimidating, or intense when you try something new. Take it new, and your body will adjust and begin to love it. Trust me!
