45 Of The Funniest Tweets From People With Vaginas This Week

Twitter is a beautiful and magical place where, in 140 characters or less, women are changing the world. Ok fine, maybe not always “changing the world,” but definitely making solid jokes about our boobs.

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33 People Who Shouldn’t Have Skipped English Class In 2018

Look, not everyone is great at spelling. It’s not something we’re born knowing, we have to learn it. That’s the whole point of English class. You might never find yourself in a situation where you need to know the difference between imply and infer to make it through your life, but you will need to know how to spell.

That’s rough for people who are really lost in the weeds when it comes to spelling. These days, especially, because everyone is always texting and emailing, so it’s crucial to have a good idea of how to spell. Sometimes, not even autocorrect can help you.

Many times it’s not even the spelling, exactly, that’s the problem—it’s that people mishear words or morph them into other words. I had a roommate once who thought that idolizing someone was putting them on a “pedestool.” The correct word is, of course, pedestal, like the thing that statues are placed on for display in museums. But to my roommate, pedestool made sense because a stool is a thing people stand on.

What I’m saying is, we’re not here to judge or shame people who can’t spell. We’re just here to laugh at them.

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Bride Threatens Bridesmaids With Forced Lie Detector Test After One Leaked Her Outrageous Demands

When it comes to weddings and demands, most brides expect a lot from their friends and family. It’s no secret that women want their special days to be “perfect,” and almost always that means spending a lot of money. But, recently, one bride went viral online for her outrageous list of demands she gave all of her wedding guests.

The original post was put on her Facebook page and outlined a very specific request for outfits from all the guests. The wedding, which is “a year away in Hawaii,” broke down what each guest should wear according to their gender, age, and weight. Additionally, the bride said her guests should plan to spend $1,000+ for their outfits (not even considering the trip itself and the wedding gift).

After many people who saw the post screenshotted and reshared it online—trolling and shaming her—the bride went back to social media to respond to all the negative vibes being thrown her way. Not only did she shame “whoever it was who posted it again,” but, she also said she was going to have all her friends and family over for a “Polygraph Party.” Yes, that’s right, she wanted to have people over to take a lie detector test just to find out who reposted her original attire request. Talk about insanity.

After her long-winded explanation and more yelling, more people on Reddit were honest.

She’s just a gift that keeps on giving.

Meanwhile I would certainly trust a $100 lie detector bought off Amazon. /s

I hope it reads like everyone is lying. Even her husband.

Fnshow316

Damn, she really suffers from a bad case of god complex

zyx012

Haha. Spiritual healers. Get the fuck out of here with that bullshit.

dismayhurta

Anyone over 160 pounds represents the devil that she wants to get rid of… I’m sure they feel super welcomed at her wedding!!

litanyofgendlin

I have to agree—I’ve seen crazy brides, but this…this is insanity.

Cardi B Announces Her Marriage To Offset Is Over In A Heated Instagram Video

Cardi B and Offset, known as the rap industry’s current “power couple,” have officially decided to go their separate ways. The two, who have a baby together—Kulture—have had relationship struggles in the public eye, after fans found out that Offset had cheated on the female rapper.

Cardi B decided to tell her fans the real reason behind the couple’s split in an honest and heated Instagram video on her page. In the video, Cardi states:

So everybody been bugging me and everything, and you know I’ve been trying to work things out with my baby father for a hot minute now… and we’re really good friends, and you know we’re really good business partners, and you know he’s always somebody that I run to to talk to and we’ve got a lot of love for each other, but…things just haven’t been working out between us for a long time, and it’s nobody’s fault. It’s just like I guess we grew out of love, but we’re not together anymore.

I don’t know, it might take time to get a divorce and I’m going to always have a lot of love for him because he is my daughter’s father and — yeah.

She captioned the post:

There you go..peace and love

Offset, however, has a different point of view on why the two are parting. Not only does he believe it’s not his own fault, but he clearly thinks that it has to do with fans/media attention and intervention. How do we know? The Migos rapper commented on the post saying:

People on Twitter were torn about the breakup. There were some who were shocked, hurt, and heartbroken.

Others, however, think Cardi B deserves more than someone who cheats on her.

All in all, Cardi B is booming in the music business and no matter what, we know our girl will secure her own bag.

This Girl Found A Genius Way To Get Answers Out Of All The Men Who Have Ghosted Her

Many of us have had the unappealing experience of getting ghosted by someone we were truly into. Whether it was after a first date, after texting for a while, or even after sex—it sucks to be ghosted at all. After all, we do like to have the ball in our own court to ghost someone, rather than get ghosted by them. Who doesn’t like a bit of control? But, how do we decide to respond by those who have ghosted us, other than complaining to our very best friends about it and cry into a pint of Ben and Jerry’s?

One Twitter user came up with a brand new system that is not only convenient but also brilliant. @calamityjaz shared a Google survey that she sends out to men who have ghosted her, asking very specific questions to narrow down the true reason as to why she didn’t get a text/call back.

Her initial opening reads:

“Hi! It’s me! Jaz! If I sent you this survey, it’s because you abruptly stopped responding to our conversation, you outright ghosted me, and/or we unexpectedly fell out of contact in some way. I am, of course, devastated beyond repair, as your attention was all that was sustaining me in these troubled times, but somehow, I’ll soldier on. However, I’m curious, and curiosity demands data.”

She goes on to give the men multiple choice options to provide their name, how they were in contact, and exactly why they ghosted her.

Obviously, as we expected, people on Twitter were fans of Jaz’s decision and cleverness to come up with such a great way to approach people who just don’t want to speak to her. And, they wanted answers.

Unfortunately, Jaz let Twitter users know that so far, she has not gotten any responses to the survey yet—and she doesn’t think she will. But, it does lead to some inspiration for the rest of us who may have been/will be ghosted by people we like. Instead of sending a drunk text at 3 A.M. on a Saturday, why not send a pretty well-worded survey to get answers, right?

Doctors Found 27 Contact Lenses In This Woman’s Eye And I’m Literally Gagging

When it comes to having some “fears” in life, putting things in my eye is definitely up there. While I need glasses to see, I’m one of those people who outright refuses to wear contact lenses because sticking anything in my eyeball just seems insane to me. Nope, won’t do it. And, even though my own mother is an eye doctor—who constantly reminds me I’m being an immature child—I still cringe at the sight of people doing it themselves.

But, it seems as though my fears may have some validation, as a study revealed that putting contacts in your eye can lead to some horrifying complications. According to a report in the British Medical Journal, a U.K. surgeon discovered a mass in a 67-year-old patient’s eye that was bothering her, and when they checked out what it was, it turned out that it was 27 contact lenses. 27 CONTACT LENSES STUCK IN HER EYE. AT THE SAME TIME.

Now, I know you’re wondering one thing—how the hell can someone not realize they had all of these contact lenses in their eye? According to the report, the patient had worn “monthly contacts” and had no issues—but, it seems as though the discovery was made when she was getting cataract surgery.

British Medical Journal

The mass was reportedly blue and “hard.” No sh*t it was hard…imagine having all 27 contact lenses glued together in your eye-socket?!? How on earth this woman not remember to take out her contacts? It turns out, she thought she dropped them, every time she couldn’t find the one to take out. Oh. Okay. No problem.

Sike.

The doctors in the study and report say that it’s record-breaking—they’ve had patients who have lost a contact or two, but never 27.

Let this be a warning for you all who love to stick things in your eyes—take the damn things out!

This Woman’s Endometriosis Halloween Costume Shows How Painful Living With The Disease Can Be

Many people live with chronic illnesses and conditions that are not visible to the human eye. For these individuals, it can be extremely difficult to explain and have others understand what they go through on a day-to-day basis.
Continue reading This Woman’s Endometriosis Halloween Costume Shows How Painful Living With The Disease Can Be

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