Earlier this week, Twitter account @drakesbrother (not actually Drake’s brother…I think…) tweeted out, “Weird Confessions: let’s hear them.”
Weird Confessions: lets hear them pic.twitter.com/ky8sVnLQKZ
— ? (@drakesbrother) January 6, 2019
To say that Twitter delivered would be an understatement. If anything, Twitter over-delivered.
The confessions were, in fact, weird. Really, really weird. But what’s striking is the common thread running through all of them. They’re universal.
Sure, you probably won’t relate to every single one of them. But odds are, you’ll read a good many of them and be like, “wait, what? I thought that was just ME!” If anything, this thread proves that we are all equally psycho, OCD, neurotic, what have you. It’s comforting, in a strange way.
1.
When I’m driving and I see the person behind me switch lanes & speed up, I do the same so they can’t go infront of me
— fred (@Fredmaano) January 8, 2019
2.
if someone sneezes around me I hold my breath for like 15 seconds till all of their germs disperse in the air away from me
— diane (@DianeFryling) January 7, 2019
3.
All doors and closets in the room gotta be completely shut when Im sleeping.
— Ryo of Wildfire (@SpeedFors5) January 7, 2019
4.
I can sing a whole song in my head without really knowing the lyrics but cant recite it out loud
— Jordan???? (@Vcksn) January 8, 2019
5.
Whenever I’m inside a building I think of what would happen if there were to be a shooter come in through any of the doors and think of what’d I’d do and where I would hide
— Irma (: (@irmva) January 8, 2019
6.
I'm scared to use a flashlight at night because I feel that it's going to land on some weird monster/humanoid creature thingy and that's how I will die pic.twitter.com/gK2oD4BwMw
— Skywalker (@truly_wild) January 7, 2019
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— Ruin My Week (@RuinedWeek) January 10, 2019
7.
Sometimes while I’m driving, I just acknowledge the fact that all these people around me are just out here living, going through shit I don’t know about and that we’ll most likely never cross paths ever again.
— ?? (@xveronicaluvx) January 8, 2019
8.
My car radio volume has to be an even number or a multiple of 5
— Jackson Downs (@jacksondowns_22) January 8, 2019
9.
I think my life is watched my someone, so I randomly say hi sometimes and comport myself.
— ? (@Buneta_x) January 8, 2019
10.
Since my first bf and I didn’t lose our virginity until we were 18 (started dating at 14)…I gave him a LOT of BJ’s.Sometimes it tasted awful,and he said “it can’t be THAT bad”. So I had him ? into a dixie cup and made him drink it lmao. My nickname has been “Dixie” ever since.
— Jody Heaton (@DizzyLizzyPDX) January 7, 2019
11.
I constantly dance to music, no matter what kind I'll move some part of my body. If no music is even playing I'll move to the song in my head.
— Accchmed ?? (@AC_Phlegm_) January 7, 2019
12.
I can’t be in a parking garage for to long because I’m always afraid a giant earthquake will happen and the building will collapse and I’ll be trapped under the rubble and die slowly even though i live in an area where earthquakes are extremely rare
— Makiya (@_brownsuggababe) January 7, 2019
13.
I stand in the mirror and make fake arguments or act like im a motivational speaker and sometime i make fake arguments and start fighting the air (if i was to ever have beef with someone thas how inwould fight them )
— ??????? (@Honeybrei) January 8, 2019
14.
I think of emergency/escape plans for every room/building I walk into for a variety of situations (public shooter, terrorist attack, natural disaster, etc.)
— . (@LateNightWeeknd) January 7, 2019
15.
when i’m in my car i talk by myself as if i were getting interviewed on tv
— jasmine esparza (@jvsmine88) January 8, 2019
16.
When I’m listening to music in public, I can only have one ear bud in my ear at all times. I need to be aware of my surroundings. I only put both in if I’m on a bus or plane.
— Asia? (@Plane2Asia) January 8, 2019
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— Ruin My Week (@RuinedWeek) January 9, 2019
17.
If I’m home alone & I vacuum or play loud music, I pause it very frequently to make sure I don’t hear anyone breaking in.
— ASH?? (@AshhNicoleeC) January 8, 2019
18.
I do it while showering too ? every few minutes I stop the water and listen for a few seconds to make sure nobody has broken in ?
— Nidal ? (@simplynidal) January 8, 2019
19.
I pay attention to numbers and patterns a lot, and accidentally memorize them. I’ll be driving and read the license plate in front of me and it will be stuck reciting in my head all day
— Kira (@ohgawd_itskira) January 7, 2019
20.
I had really low self esteem throughout school and now when any guy shows me he’s interested I think he’s setting me up?
— Ash-Li?™? (@Ashlingling_918) January 7, 2019
21.
I have the weirdest impulses sometimes like if I’m holding someone’s baby I’m like what if threw it out the window
— ????? ????? (@sudxnia) January 8, 2019
22.
Me driving- "I could floor it and swing into the guard rail."
Other me: o.O
Me: "Lol I mean change the radio station! :)"— Punky Brewster (@xLAWx_) January 8, 2019
23.
Okay this is probably gonna be one of the most weird ones but I have this constant feeling that being watched 24/7 and literally everyone is in on it. Pretty much like the Truman show for those of you that have watched it .
— Skinny ass Kelly Price (@Freshnoodlez) January 8, 2019
24.
i shower on my toes, i hate putting my whole foot on the shower floor
— I$HH (@ishhquinones_) January 7, 2019
25.
I naturally wake up between 2-4 am everyday lay there awake for about an hour then fall back to sleep
— Breezjáe. (@_breezjae) January 7, 2019
26.
If I’m waiting for a timer, I do a countdown with it in my head to see if I can keep up. I also countdown in increments of single digits. Makes it a lot easier.
(If it’s 37 seconds, I go 7-6-5-4-3-2-1-0-29-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1-0-19-8-7-, etc.)— Lex (@lexieeWABO) January 7, 2019
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— Ruin My Week (@RuinedWeek) January 9, 2019
27.
I had no idea sitcoms where taped n front of live studio audiences. So When i used to watch shows & heard people laughin, i thought it was the rest of the whole world at home watching & laughing into their tvs, so i used to laugh xtra hard right into the speakers .
— Red (@Redness427) January 8, 2019
28.
I do personal bets with myself like if I’m about to throw something in the trash I say “ok if I make this me and my gf will get married one day”.
— Caramel Macchiato (@A1Kaycakez) January 7, 2019
29.
I sleep with the tv on because when it’s quiet I start to overthink things and my anxiety kicks in
— Mxhzy (@Mxhzy_) January 7, 2019
30.
everytime i get in my car, i make sure i check the backseat because i dont wanna get choked out from behind
— : (@iam_vashonn) January 8, 2019
31.
sometimes i find the floor much comfier than my bed. i just be laying on it for no reason even tho my bed right there
— adelle s (@maadessi) January 8, 2019
32.
I frequently find myself imagining the deaths of ppl I love, not because it brings me joy but because I feel like I need to prepare myself for that day so I can handle the grief instead of it consuming me alive ????? pic.twitter.com/GxjEos6Xtz
— MaskedMandie (@MandieMasked) January 8, 2019
33.
When I sleep I HAVE to have my fan turned on while keeping my covers over me, otherwise I'll be too cold without the covers or too hot without the fan. People find this weird???
— Axlogix ? (@Axlogixx) January 8, 2019
34.
If I knock/scrap one foot on the floor by accident I have to even it out and knock/scrap the other foot otherwise I feel uneven
— Harrison Carnegie (@Haz_ink) January 8, 2019
35.
I hate complete silence it’s too loud . Only a few will understand but the quieter it is the louder it seems. It’s an ugly noise when it’s dead silent
— AliceInWonderland??? (@B_doll23) January 8, 2019
36.
I once bookmarked this porn video that popped up on my timeline because I really liked ole girls nails and I didn’t know the color and design but I couldn’t show the nail lady well because ???
— Ko?o (@KrystalMIsable) January 7, 2019
37.
I have a pack of toothbrushes i use after i give head so i won’t use my everyday toothbrush ?
— dess says (@_urdestynee) January 7, 2019
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— Ruin My Week (@RuinedWeek) January 9, 2019