10.
Husband: We should go to Costco.
Me [still in pajamas]: So I should change?
H: I said Costco, not Walmart.
Me:*puts on nicer pajamas*
— EricaTriesToTweet (@EricaWhoToYou) July 1, 2017
11.
I didn’t even know it was possible to argue about a topic you agree on until I got married.
— not the WORST mom ? (@nottheworstmom) November 28, 2017
12.
I don’t know which is worse
1) My wife whistled for me to come downstairs
2) I did it— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) November 28, 2017
13.
*wife is out of town*
Do I dare leave the toilet seat up?
*looks around and shrugs*
Screw it. This is my house.
*falls into toilet at 3AM*
— Gorilla Von Nips (@GorillaNipples1) November 11, 2017
14.
My wife and I are tackling a home improvement project together.
Just thought I’d give you a heads up.
This is my last post as a married man.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) November 26, 2017
15.
Me: *walking on the moon*
[text from wife]: Can you bring home some more milk?
— Chad Read (@squirrel74wkgn) November 18, 2017
16.
the chicken in my wife’s spicy chicken burger was bigger than the bun while mine was smaller and I know ill bring it up in a future argument
— brent (@murrman5) August 27, 2017
17.
For the first time in 16 years, I remembered where we keep the tape without having to ask my wife, so our marriage is going well right now.
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) November 21, 2017
18.
Wife: *asks question*
Me: *gives answer*
Wife: I’m looking it up on the internet…
— Boyd’s Backyard™ (@TheBoydP) November 20, 2017
19.
Me – You almost ready?
Wife – Just a few more minutes. What time do we have to be there?
Me – Yesterday at 7.— Dan R (@Social_Mime) June 21, 2017
20.
Establish dominance in your household by staring at your husband while you unplug his phone from the charger and plug in your own.
— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) November 23, 2017