I graduated college a year and a half ago, so I'm not too far removed from the College Experience. What is the College Experience? Well, it depends who you ask. Some will say parties; some will say dorm life; some will say sports, and others still will say clubs and organizations.
English majors will say, "Getting asked the same few inane or slightly offensive questions over and over again."
1. So are you going to teach?
No. If I was going to teach, I would have gone for–wait for it–a teaching degree.
Not that an English degree rules out teaching. I could go back for another higher degree, and use that to teach. And there are some people who do have that plan. But it is not the only option or even the primary option available to English majors, and yet this is the primary assumption about practical uses for an English degree.
2. What are you even going to do with that degree?
This goes hand-in-hand with the above. The assumption is that there just aren't a lot of options and an English major is a restricting (at best) or foolish (at worst) major to choose. So what CAN you do with an English degree?
Well, statistically, lots of things. English is one of the most diverse degrees a person can get. My degree in English shows that I have excellent written and spoken communication, a strong command of language, and the ability to listen, read, interpret, analyze, research, think critically, think creatively, solve problems, be empathetic, the list goes on and on.
3. Why do you need college to learn to read and write?
I think a lot of people are under the assumption that the only reading and written communication skills you really need in life are a basic ability to understand and convey words at face value and a basic grasp of spelling, grammar, and punctuation.
An English degree is more than just learning the basics of grammar and how to understand written words. An English degree teaches you the ability to understand the subtleties of written communication and convey them on your own, and how to understand things that are buried between the lines–the complexities that usually get lost between thought and language.
Beyond that, and more practically, an English degree teaches you the abilities to analyze, to organize thoughts and ideas, and to comprehend and deliver complex messages in understandable ways.
Basically, an English major teaches you the parts of reading and writing that are far more valuable than spelling and grammar.
4. Can you proofread this?
I mean, sure, I am certainly capable and qualified.
But you know, proofreading and editing jobs are real, viable, paying careers. Proofreading your cover letter isn't a huge deal or an outrageous encroachment on our integrity as professionals, and if we like you enough to want to help, we don't mind doing it.
Still, I imagine it's similar to how the math geek feels when asked to help with your taxes. I could be getting paid to do this kind of work, and there's a small degree of deprecation in the repeated, persistent notion and culture of, "Hey, this nerd likes/is good at this thing I and most other people don't want to do or are not good at…maybe I can get them to do it for me."
Sorry, jocks, but we're not actually as keen as you think we are on doing your homework.
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