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To the Guy Who I Thought I Would Grow Old with

“A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave. A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master…”?  ?Elizabeth Gilbert

Our hearts kept it simple.

I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once. I don’t really know when it exactly happened, but somewhere in between our intense eye contact and wiping my tears away as my walls came down that I spent years crafting, I crashed into you fully and never looked back.

My heart was unguarded, and I gave you all of me. We didn’t just hang out. We played. Our souls were alive – we were like two little kids again seeing the world for the first time – being with you multiplied all the good in life and changed me forever.

But our minds were another story.

We were complicated people, you and I. We weren’t simple. Our minds were analytical and imaginative and we thought about everything. A lot. We ended up making every situation in our life about 100x more difficult than it had to be.

 

We argued a lot. I fought with you at inopportune times, but my anger was fueled by my passion and emotions for you. I cared. I loved you. I loved all of you. I loved that I was the only one you showed certain parts of yourself to, you gave me all of you.

 

I wiped your tears as you spoke about your family, there’s nothing in this world I loved more than holding your hand and whispering words of reassurance in your ear, because I knew you weren’t broken, you were just bent. And I loved all your edges, all your roughness. Your imperfections were perfect to me.