Dating is hard. Dating when you have a child is even harder. Why? Because instead of just making sure you don’t get hurt, you have to make sure your child doesn’t get hurt as well. You have two hearts to guard.
If your child gets attached to the person you’re dating and you two break up, not only do you have to go through the break-up process, but your child goes through it too; in their own way.
So, before you let the person you’re dating meet your child, just wait a while. Make sure that you and this person are serious so you can spare your child from getting hurt.
When dating a single mom, here are some rules guys need to abide by:
- She’s not looking to replace the child’s father, but she is looking for a father figure…eventually. For whatever reason things didn’t work out between the mom and dad, just know she’s not looking to replace their father. She’s looking for someone to make her laugh, to show her she’s appreciated, to love her. And yes, eventually you’ll be more involved with the child and you’ll love her child like it’s your own.
- Pretending to like kids won’t help you in the long run. If you truly don’t like kids, then you need to just move along to someone who doesn’t have a kid or kids. She’ll never give them up to make you happy. Unless you’re 100% certain that you want to be there and raise that kid like it’s your own, just go away. Don’t waste their time.
- You won’t meet the child right off the bat. You need to get to know the mom before you get to know the kid. Your first date shouldn’t include an introduction of “this is my son/daughter.” You definitely don’t want to get the child attached to you too soon – especially if something happens and you two break up. Remember that there’s a small, innocent child in this too.
- Everything you know about schedules – say goodbye to that. When you have a kid, schedules are practically non-existent. Parents have custody agreements, parent-teacher conferences, after school activities, sick kid, etc. Everything is constantly changing, so be prepared.
- Her ex is probably still in the picture, learn to deal with it. They’ve got a kid together, what did you expect? Not all dads get a chick pregnant and then never have anything to do with them or the kid. He may not be around all the time, but he’s around. You two will have to play nice.
- Staying out all night and partying isn’t an option anymore. She’s a mom FFS. If you want someone who can do whatever, whenever then you need to look elsewhere. She’s gotta pay the babysitter, and those aren’t exactly cheap. If she said she’d be home by 10, make sure she’s home by 10!
- She’s not looking for Superman to come save her – but she could definitely use a massage. She’s been doing this by herself long before you came, and if anything happened she’s prepared to do it alone again. Pamper her, show her you admire her. Show her that you appreciate everything she’s done and she’ll show you the same.
- You must be willing to watch cartoons – ALL DAY. Don’t like SpongeBob? Too bad. Never watched Frozen? You’ll be singing along in no time. You think Paw Patrol is dumb? Well, get over it because you’ll be watching it all day instead of whatever you like to watch. You gotta learn to make sacrifices. Even if cartoons make you want to stab yourself in the eyes.
- Don’t make promises you can’t keep. If you promised to go to the soccer game with us, take us all out to bond, or get groceries because we can’t go due to a sick child, please keep your promise. Not only are you letting the mom down, but then we have to tell our child that we can’t go anymore due to whatever reason you gave us.
- Weekend getaways will always include a child. Make sure if you’re going away for the weekend that there’s something child appropriate and fun for all of you to do. Single moms can’t always take the weekend off or drop the kid off at someone’s house so you two can be alone.
We’re a packaged deal. You get two of us for the price of one. Don’t ever take us for granted.