HELLO MY BROKEN OTHER HALF,
THE WORDS I NEED TO SAY WILL PROBABLY NEVER COME OUT CLEARLY, NOR IN A MANNER THAT YOU WILL UNDERSTAND AND ACCEPT.
IF YOU DO ACCEPT THEM AND YOU DECIDE TO ACT UPON THEM, STOP.
WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE YOU’RE CLOSE TO LOSING IT ALL…. LET IT GO.
WHEN YOU LOST YOUR CONNECTION WITH THE ONLY PERSON YOUVE EVER KNOWN TO LOVE, LOSE IT.
WHEN YOU START THINKING ABOUT LIFE WITHOUT YOUR WIFE…. LIVE IT ALONE.
WHEN YOU CANT SEE YOUR FUTURE WITH HER AT YOUR ANGRIEST MOMENTS, PLAN A DIFFERENT PATH.(STOP DRAGGING HER DOWN YOUR TOXIC AND DEPRESSING PATH IF SHE DOESNT BRIGHTEN UP YOUR DEEPEST WORRY)
WHEN HER FUTURE, STRUGGLES, SADNESS, FAMILY, PRIORITIES OR THOUGHTS ARE NOT YOUR PROBLEM… FIND SOMEONE WHOSE PROBLEMS ARE YOUR PROBLEMS OR BE ALONE.
WHEN YOU CAN YELL AT HER AND MAKE HER CRY AND SCREAM AND NOT WANT TO RUN TO HER SIDE, LEAVE HER SIDE, LET SOMEONE ELSE TAKE YOUR PLACE.
WHEN YOU CANT THINK OF ANY REASON WHY YOURE TRULY, MADLY AND DEEPLY IN LOVE WITH THIS WOMAN WHEN YOURE DRUNK AND PISSED…. WAKE UP ALONE.
WHEN YOU HAVE BROKEN HER AND MADE HER BELIEVE THAT SHE WILL NOT BE ANYONE WITHOUT YOU, LET HER BE.
WHEN YOU HAVE LET HER BE ALONE FOR SO LONG IN SO MANY DIFFERENT WAYS, STOP COMING BACK
WHEN YOU JUDGE HER FOR SMALL ACTIONS, YET YOUR ACTIONS CAN DEFINE YOUR ENTIRE MARRIAGE… ACT ALONE.
WHEN YOU CANT STOP DRINKING OR BRINGING THAT TOXIC FUCKING SHIT INTO YOUR FAMILIES LIFE CONSTANTLY…. DRINK ALONEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
WHEN SHE CANT SIT THE DESK ON HER LAPTOP FOR HOURS AND HOURS TRYING TO MAKE ENDS MEET AT SCHOOL AND BILLS WITHOUT YOU USING IT AGAINST HER LATER…… GO AWAY
BE WHO YOU ARE, AND QUIT LETTING HER BE CONFUSED. QUIT ALLOWING HER TO CREATE THESE FALSE VERSIONS OF YOU. QUIT DAMAGING YOUR MARRIAGE. QUIT HURTING HER. QUIT CLOSING YOUR EARS. OPEN YOUR EYES….
IF YOU CANT BE WHAT SHE NEEDS, LET HER GO.
STOP BEING SELFISH.
SHES HOLDING ON UNTIL SHE CANT ANYMORE… SHES SLIPPING…. ARE YOU GOING TO LET HER?
ARE YOU GOING TO LET HER BE HAPPY?
IS THAT WHAT YOU ARE AFRAID OF? HER HAPPINESS WITHOUT YOU?
IS THAT WHY YOURE KEEPING HER AROUND WITH FALSE PROMISES IS SO THAT SHE CANT BE WITHOUT YOU?
DO YOU EVEN LOVE HER?
IS SHE YOUR MOM OR WIFE? DID YOU REALLY ASK THAT QUESTION…. YOU HAVE THE DRINKING PROBLEM, YOU HELPED HER MAKE A CHILD AND A HOME, AND A BROKEN MARRIAGE BUT YOU WANT TO MAKE HER FEEL CONTROLLING?
DO YOU KNOW HOW TO GROW UP… HOW TO BE A MAN….
DO YOU KNOW HOW TO REGRET?
ONE DAY, SHE WILL BE DONE. NOT ANGRY DONE OR DEVASTATING SAD DONE. BUT, THE DONE WHERE THERE IS NO LOOKING BACK AND NO FEELINGS.
YOU CANT STOP DRINKING FOR HER BECAUSE YOU JUST WANT TO DRINK…. ONE DAY YOULL SEE WHY SHE DESERVED BETTER.
ONE DAY YOULL WONDERING WHY YOU DIDNT WANT TO STOP DRINKING FOR YOURSELF BECAUSE OF ALL THE DAMAGE IT HAS DONE.
ONE DAY…. YOULL REGRET THE HOLES IN THE WALL AND THE THINGS YOU DIDNT DO.
ONE DAY… YOULL THINK OF HOW YOU COULD OF HAD IT ALL BECAUSE YOU HAD SOMEONE WHO WAS THERE FOR IT BUT YOU LET IT GO.
MAYBE ONE DAY, YOU WANT LET IT GO BUT YOU HAVE CRUMBLED EVERY ATOM IN HER BODY THAT LOVED YOU AND YOU CANT EVER REDEEM YOURSELF.
ONE DAY YOU WILL LOVE SOMEONE LIKE YOU SHOULD OF LOVED HER.
ONE DAY YOU WILL SEE HOW YOU COULD OF TRIED EVEN IN HER WEAKEST MOMENTS.
ONE DAY YOU WILL REALIZE YOU WERENT THE ONLY ONE WHO NEEDED TO CHANGE BUT YOU COULDNT MAKE THE STEPS FOR YALL TO MOVE FORWARD,
ONE DAY… YOULL TRULY AND MADLY LOVE HER….
BUT, ONE DAY…. SHE WONT LOVE YOU, BUT SHE WILL ALWAYS CARE
SHE WILL ALWAYS CARE BECAUSE NO MATTER HOW MESSED UP YOU ARE AND NO MATTER HOW MESSED UP YOU HAVE MADE HER…. YOU ARE APART OF HER.
YOU WILL FOREVER BE APART OF ME.
MY SON WILL NOT KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT YOU.
I WILL NOT LET OUR SON KEEP SEEING US LIKE THIS.
I WILL NOT LET MY SON BE JUST AS CONFUSED AS I AM
SHOULD WE WORK IT OUT? SHOULD WE END IT? HAVENT WE HAD ENOUGH? CAN WE REALLY START OVER? CAN WE BE DIFFERENT PEOPLE? CAN WE CHANGE TOGETHER? CAN WE CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER? CAN WE BE WHO WE NEED EACH OTHER TO BE?
RIGHT NOW, IM BEING SELFISH TO MYSELF AND IM HURTING OUR SON.
RIGHT NOW, ONE MINUTE WE ARE HAPPY THE NEXT WE ARE A TIME BOMB. IVE NEVER BEEN SO HAPPY TO BE SO SELF DOUBTING AND ANGRY. I MEAN YOU CATCH ME ON FIRE INSIDE.
WHAT IS LOVE?
WHAT IS LIFE WITHOUT EACH OTHER?
WHO AM I?
WHY DID WE GET MARRIED?
WHY WONT YOU CHANGE FOR ME? HOW DO YOU NOT SEE THAT I WANT YOU TO BE BETTER AND BUILD.
WHY DO YOU KEEP TEARING US DOWN?
WHY DO YOU KEEP TEARING ME DOWN?
HOW CAN YOU SAY THE THINGS YOU DO?
I WANT TO BE DONE FOR GOOD. I WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING TO MOVE ON AND FIND MY SOUL MATE. THIS ISNT LOVE. THIS IS YOU. ALL YOU.
BUT, IM SCARED ILL SAY GOODBYE AND IT BE THE LAST TIME. IM SCARED YOULL HURT YOURSELF OR SOMEONE ELSE.
IM SCARED ILL HAVE TO RAISE OUR CHILD ALONE. IF YOU ARENT WITH ME… HOW DRUNK ARE GOING TO GET?
HOW CAN I HATE AND LOVE YOU AT THE SAME TIME?
WHY CANT YOU STOP DRINKING? HOW DO YOU NOT SEE ITS A PROBLEM? ITS A PROBLEM IF YOU STAY AND ITS A PROBLEM IF YOU GO…
WHY ARE YOU SO ANGRY?
HOW HAVE YOU MADE ME INTO THIS TERRIBLE ANGRY , MANIPULATING PERSON WHO RESPONDS LIKE YOU?
WHAT IN THE HELL DO WE DO?
YET, AFTER ALL THIS…..
YOU WONT UNDERSTAND AND YOU WONT CARE. YOU WONT FUCKING CARE UNTIL YOU FUCKING LOSE IT ALL. ONE DAY YOU WILL. I JUST HOPE ITS NOT TRAGIC. THATS MY BIGGEST FEAR.
I CAN LOSE YOU, BUT NOT FROM EARTH.
ITS TIME WE LOSE EACH OTHER.