You used to dream about “happily ever after”, being rescued by your knight in shining armor from the scary dragon guarding the castle you were trapped in, and about losing your voice and having true love cure it. You thought that your favorite Disney movie would come true one day and you’d find your Prince Charming. But in an instant, your life flipped upside down and your innocence disappeared for a while.
You woke up every single morning with a pain in your chest and you wondered when you would get used to this new life. Who will play softball with you in the front yard? Who will help you build forts during snowstorms? Who will be there for you waiting with a salami sandwich when you got off the bus after a day at school? Who will be there for you late at night to watch T.V. with? You gave up and concluded that life will never be the same.
While the “normal” age of your first heartbreak is around the age of 14, my first heartbreak was when I was 5. My parents’ divorce was something that flipped my life upside down and to make it worse, I didn’t understand any of it. When I was 4, when people asked me what I wanted to be, my answer was 9 times out of 10 “A DISNEY PRINCESS!!”. At 6, my answer turned into “I don’t know”.
I used to dream about happily ever after but since my only vision of “love” was my parents’ relationship, that was crushed as well.5 years old is much too young to experience anything this heartbreaking, but since I had no choice and the “parent trap” method wouldn’t work in my case, I was lost.
Getting used to this new life and having no choice with it wasn’t easy.You had to accept the absence of your father and everyone expected you(a 5 year old) to be okay with it. You went through a rough period and acted out and lashed out at your family because you were so confused and upset when your best friend packed his stuff up and left. Till this day, you are viewed as the “troubled child” because of this and nobody understood where all the anger came from.
I think that anyone who has experienced their parents’ separation can agree that the hardest part is getting used to it. Getting used to the empty place setting at the dinner table, the one day a week visits, a second home, and your parents new love interests are all things that nobody should have to get used to. Having a “normal” family was something I wished for when I blew out the candles on my birthday each summer, but I gave up on that too.
Even though at 5 my world seemed like it had been changed forever, I grew each day and while I wasn’t looking, I learned to accept what my new life consisted of.
I learned that it was okay to make my own sandwich when I got home from school, it was okay to play in the snow alone, having two homes is better than one, and playing catch with someone new is still fun. More importantly, now being 18, I have learned that true love exists beyond my parents’ toxic relationship and that those Disney stories can still come true one day.