From Dating To Engaged: How To Handle The Transition

The shift begins from ‘just dating’ to a ‘serious relationship’. You both realize that you’re ready to be engaged. You both have found the person you’ve been waiting to spend your life with. Now what? It is time to transition from dating to engaged. 

How Do You Know You Are Ready To Be Engaged?

You know you are ready for engagement because your relationship is strong and has a future. Engagement is a big commitment and not one that either of you should take lightly. There is going to be a big shift in the relationship. Here are some ways you can both better prepare for that transition.

Communication Is Key

One of the best indicators you are ready is that communication comes easily. Both parties are heard, and you can openly talk to each other. You both know that expressing your feelings and thoughts is ok and you will be understood. You have the ability to communicate and feel secure with your partner. Lack of communication is one of the top reasons for divorce. The ability to discuss things easily is a good foundation for marriage.

Sharing Similar Core Beliefs

You two share similar core beliefs and value systems. Which is a strong indicator that you will be more compatible in a long-term relationship. This is especially important if you are planning on having children together. 

Your Finances Are Stable

In addition to communication, finances are probably one of the biggest issues within marriages today. When you both have steady jobs or good sources of income, this is likely not a problem. If you are struggling financially this will have a bigger impact on you as a couple. Take some time and do your research on ways to save money so that it doesn’t put a damper on your future together. 

Both Of You Are Not Looking Elsewhere

If you are at this point in your relationship then it is definitely a sign that engagement is on the way. You are committed to each other and you truly love your significant other for who they are. You should bring out the best in each other, and enjoy all of the moments together. 

Dealing With Pressure As A Couple

On the flip side, disagreements will usually weigh more heavily on the both of you at this time. Because the transition to engagement is coming, there is more pressure for getting along all the time, and it can truly seem like the worst thing when you have a fight. It creates panic and then those “what ifs” start creeping into your head.  Pay attention to how you both get through those times. If you’re able to talk things out and makeup quickly, then there should be nothing to worry about. Every relationship will have its ups and downs, so things aren’t always going to be great between the two of you. 

Navigating The Change In The Status Of Your Relationship

Now that you feel your life is fulfilled and that you are ready to call him or her “fiancé” you’re onto the next steps. The steps are long from dating to engaged. Be prepared to acknowledge the fact that even though things may not change on the surface, there will be a big shift in the relationship, and some things are going to change. Instead of making the plans right away, there are a couple of things that happen during this transition:

  • OTHER PEOPLE WILL TAKE YOU SERIOUSLY AND TREAT YOU DIFFERENTLY. This is because now you’re declaring your commitment to the world and people see you’re not just ‘boyfriend’ or ‘girlfriend’, and they may invest more of their time in you.
  • YOU WILL GET FLOODED WITH ADVICE.  From everything from who you should use to cater your wedding to the wedding music  to who you should play or the band you should hire, everyone is going to want to have their say about your wedding and what you should do. This is especially true for couples who are already married because they feel they can give you the best advice since they did it. Be prepared to take note of the advice you get, but not necessarily take it all to heart. Remember, this is your big moment of engagement, and your wedding to plan together. 

If you can get through the transition, you’re doing great. Becoming engaged is a truly magical moment, and the excitement can fade very quickly once the stress of the engagement and wedding plans start to arise. So take deep breaths and just work through one thing at a time.  

Remember Time For Yourself

Practicing self-care is still important even when you’re half of a couple or a fiancé. You should be okay with taking your time away from each other to do things, like engaging in hobbies or spending time with other friends or family. Engagement should not be entered into as a way to fix any sort of relationship problems. You should feel both secure and comfortable when you’re together and when you are apart. 

You should work with each other as a team, but you can also take care of things separately, focusing on your strengths to get things done more efficiently. This can particularly help when you start your wedding plans together. If you’re better at putting the invitations together and your partner can handle discussions with the caterer, then split up the tasks as such. 

Enjoy The Moment

Lastly, be sure to really enjoy the transition from a serious relationship to engagement. Since it is short-lived, you want to try and ride that wave before settling into the chaos of planning. As one of the biggest and most important events in your life, it should be an incredible moment when you or your significant other proposes. There’s no room for stress or freaking out. You’re comfortable and happy, and ready to take on the world together. Enjoy the ride from dating to engaged.